Experts Realize They Have Too Much Time on their Hands

Experts Diagnose Harry Potter With 'Probable Migraine'

Highlights include:
...Sheftell's team scrutinized all of J.K. Rowling's published Harry Potter books, looking for references to Potter's headaches. (Really? We needed a team for this?)
...After considering several headache diagnoses, Sheftell's team settled on the diagnosis of "probable migraine." (Because you wouldn't want to commit to an incorrect diagnosis of a literary character.)
...Is their diagnosis correct? The researchers note that migraines may be passed down genetically, but little is known about Potter's birth parents. (Sweet baby Jesus the kid talks to snakes and flies around on a broomstick. Also, he's not real. Augh.)

Listen, I'm as excited about the last Harry Potter book as the next fanatic, but get a grip people.