I am the full moon

You know how all the freaks supposedly come out during the full moon? I'm beginning to think that's what I am. Because I bring out the freaks. As a general rule (there are a couple notable exceptions), if you are attracted to me, you have a deep-rooted problem. Really. You're evil, or you're an emotional cripple, or you're some kind of mutant (and not in a hot-Hugh Jackman as Wolverine kind of way.) Case in point? Fetish boy.

The Thursday night before graduation, I went to see a friend's band play at a local bar. I've been promising him I'd come watch them all semester and this was the first chance I got. They were really good, I love them, yay. So, halfway through their set, some other public health people started showing up. Among them, this guy who's a doctor in the Air Force and graduating the next day with me. He comes out with us a lot, seems to be a nice guy. He's kind of short and has a goatee (alarm bells should have been ringing for me) but he's really nice and I assumed because he was older and would be leaving and all that jazz, he wasn't anything I'd have to think about. Hahaha Samantha....you're so naive. So, we're talking and he says that there's a big party in June in ATL that he's going to and that he'd bring some info about it to graduation and if I wanted to I could go with him. I say ok, whatever. I was a little bit buzzed and frankly didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

So, fast-forward to graduation. I walk in and there he is with a camera. He makes me stop and he takes a picture of me standing by myself. Then I go sit at the table with my parents. He comes over and brings me this little card and says, "This is the info on that party I told you about. If you're interested, just let me know." And he walks away. I look down at the card. It's some kind of ginormous fetish party. The card features pics of people in handcuffs and holding whips. I am afraid. And my parents are curious. "What's that?" asks my father. (Samantha dies a little bit inside.) I tuck it in my program and try to divert attention away from it. Of course, sometime during the course of the graduation, curiousity gets the better of him and he steals my program and the card contained therein. Needless to say, my father wanted the details on this guy who gave me the card and whether he needed to go shoot him. Luckily, the revelation that the man is an officer in the Air Force and a physician made my Dad think he's just a freak, not a psychopath who wants to cage and handcuff his daughter.

So, I attract freaks. A lot of freaks. Convicts, boys who are overly enthusiastic about leather, boys who are vertically challenged, and (multiple) hideous security guards. And tomorrow's Friday the 13th. Woo. Laters!