Jesus: Servin' it up hot and fresh

So the story on last night. Let me tell ya, it's good stuff in retrospect. I was called to go to a case at a local hospital. We packed up the van and headed out. Two of my co-workers were with me in the front seat of our Honda Odyssey, with my favorite co-worker, Brian, driving. He is such a sweetheart and is really funny and is the only reason I ever get called to do any work. God bless him.

So, we're about 4 blocks from the office and Brian's calling the OR on his cell phone. There's a Chevy Trailblazer ahead of us and it looks like she's coming over into our lane. Brian speeds up to get around her. We were right beside her when she decides she's coming over after all. Aaaaannddd she hits us. Greg jumps up in his seat, I scream, and Brian keeps driving. The people who hit us turn down a side street. We have to tell Brian to stop the car....he seems like he's in shock that we were hit or something. Then I look at the other car and they're still driving. I tell Brian they're trying to run and we need to catch them and get their license plate number. So he kicks it into reverse and the chase ensues. We didn't have to chase them long because when they saw we were following them, they slowed down, and then Brian jumped in front of them and pulled over. We were soon to discover the plethora of reasons she would want to flee the scene.

We call the cops, and the woman gets out of the car. She's smoking a cigarette, she looks about 45, and she has a guy with her who looks about 25. Her boyfriend is going around shaking hands acting like he's meeting people in a bar or something. They said they were just coming in from the Sarah McLachlan concert and were on their way back to their hotel. The woman keeps freaking out about the damage on the truck...which I guess was pretty bad. And keeps saying, "he's going to kill me." We didn't know who she was talking about. Then the cop gets there. He asks for licenses and proof of insurance. We can't find our proof of insurance since it's a company car and we couldn't find it in the glove compartment or anywhere. So we tell that to the officer, and the other driver says, "Oh, that's okay, cause I don't have my license!" The cop laughs, hahaha. "Do you have a license and you just don't have it with you?" She replied, "It's suspended." Ooohhh...and the plot thickens.

He takes her proof of insurance and I guess it says Harold or something. He points to the man with her and asks, "Is this Harold?" She sheepishly shakes her head. The cop calls in her license and it's suspended for DUI. (At one point the cop got in his squadcar to write some stuff up, and Greg said, "For a minute, we thought you guys were runnin'!" and the woman replied, "When you guys didn't stop right away, we were going to make a run for it!" Greg laughed. I cringed because that woman made me so mad.) While the cop is writing everything up, the woman's asking to give everyone a group hug. I am TOTALLY freaked out by nasty old smoky drunk women giving me hugs. She actually wasn't really drunk, but I can guarantee you she and her man had tossed a couple back. The license check also gave her date of birth as 1970, making her 35 years old. That's a message for you kids: Don't smoke. It will make you look really old and yucky.

So, the cop told us to go on, we were done. But he had to take care of some business with the lady that hit us. I don't know if they arrested her or what...we went on to the hospital and did the case. Brian was really upset that he'd gotten us in a car accident, but I told him that it wasn't his fault, and that we probably just got caught in the crossfire of some divine retribution. I mean, driving your HUSBAND'S truck, with a SUSPENDED license, with ALCOHOL on your breath, and your younger LOVER in the passenger seat? Jesus was doing an intervention...cause that dude probably missed out on some lovin' in that hotel room last night. They probably spent the evening coming up with convincing stories involving deer and headlights to tell her husband...hahahaha.

Either way, that was my dramatic evening. Luckily no one was hurt, all that jazz. That woman was CRAZY though. Laters!