Office Christmas Party

I only work at my job part-time...specifically only on weekends. But I've been there for almost 4 years now. Everyone knows me...la la la. So last year, they had the office Christmas party. And apparently it was awesome. Everyone danced, everyone was drunk, my favorite co-worker took over the DJ position and they basically just rocked the Casbah. So, when I heard about this party last year in passing and realized that I HAD NOT BEEN INVITED despite working there for a really long time and being everyone's favorite per-diem employeee, I was pissed. So for the past year, everytime a Christmas party is mentioned I am sure to follow it up with "Oh, that awesome Christmas party to which I received no invitation? That one? Yeah." So, I'm pretty sure that it is because of me that all the per-diem employees were invited this year. :) Muahahaha. The problem is that I worked literally all night Sunday, had to wake up yesterday to take an exam, and then went back to bed. I was so tired, I had absolutely NO desire to attend the Christmas party. But since I've been pitching a fit about it for the past year, I decided to drag my ass out of bed and go. (Bad Idea #1.)

I get there, and none of my favorite people are there. One of them was deployed to Iraq, so I knew he wouldn't be there. B wasn't going to be there because his wife just had a baby 2 days ago. And my other favorite didn't show up because he, like me, was exhausted from last night so just didn't drag his ass out of bed. Also, the cute boy I work with didn't show up because he lives an hour away and didn't want to drive. Therefore, it is me, and everyone that works full-time in the office. And they're all 40 and up. Honestly. They all have children that are older than me. I should have said hello, eaten some free food, and left. But who am I to pass up dancing and an open bar?

So, I go to the bar and order a margarita. And the bartender immediately opens with "You weren't here last year, were you?" And I say, "No, they didn't invite me." And he said, "Oh, I didn't think so because I know I would have remembered you." And that's when I knew it was going to be a long night of bartender-dodging. Because the bartender was a stocky balding man. No younger than 30. The DJ was a 50 year old man in slacks and a tie. He was HORRIBLE. Nevertheless, people started to dance. And that was Bad Idea #2. I should NEVER have started dancing. Because unlike my coworkers, who just look like they're joking and dancing around crazily, I really can dance. Which means that I attracted a lot of attention. Which in my situation is a bad thing. Because people started to watch me when I was dancing sober. They continued watching when I danced drunk. Ohhh so bad.

We started with the electric slide, lovely, tame, I'm still sober. Then I finish my margarita and I go back to the bar. I ask the bartender what he would suggest. "Trust me." And then he hands me this delicious fruity concoction. I didn't know what it was, but I saw him pour Grey Goose into the glass so it was some good stuff. I asked him what it was and he wouldn't tell me. I shrugged and said "OK" and wandered off to dance. I'm sure he was hoping that would be a bridge to me begging him to tell me what it was or something. But I didn't care enough for all that. Then I got another what turned out to be "Sex on the Beach." Then we did the cha-cha slide. Which is where the bad part started. To this point, I'd been keeping my dancing quite tame. There was no vertical motion...only horizontal. This was quite intentional because I knew the head of the organization and a lot of surgeons were sitting at the tables watching us dance. So I was just trying to blend with the goofy dancers. But then the cha-cha slide came on. And I just did what the guy said! "How low can you go? Can you get down low? All the way to the floor?" And I answered honestly. "Yes. Yes I can." And I did. And immediately I was the center of wide-eyed attention. Sooo bad.

By the end of the night, I had a lot more to drink. Asked the bartender to dance. Danced all up on my other really drunk co-worker. Made the following announcement over the DJ's microphone: I AM HAVING A GOOD TIME! WOO! Learned how to work a turntable...and promptly forgot. Tried to drag the head of the organization onto the dance flooor (unsuccessfully) and was subsequently asked by him if I was okay to drive home. Soo not good. I was leaving and the bartender grabbed my hand. I said "Maybe I'll see you next year." And he replied with "Hopefully before then." And I said, "Yeah....keep hoping." And left. I didn't wake up until 11 this morning...and I could really go back to bed.

Oh, and guess what's tonight? The Dodgeball Play-Offs. I can't remember if I told you guys, but my God-awful team made it to the play-offs! WOO! We're playing Napoleon's team at 8 tonight. Fingers crossed everyone :) Laters.