Ramblings

Do you ever have one of those days that you reflect upon and think, "Whose life am I leading?" Not that it's a bad thing. It's just odd. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I would be today? This is not it. And it's not a bad alternate timeline. It's just one of those things where you realize how strange life is. I thought I'd be a doctor by now. I'm not. But I work in hospitals all over the country. I thought I'd be living in another state by now. I'm not. But I've survived in spite of it. Of course, I haven't given up on either of those goals either. In fact, I think the numerous delays have only strengthened my resolve to do what I want in any state but Alabama....and Mississippi. oh. and West Virginia. And Arkansas. And really any southern state. Ok...I think that's it. :) So, today.

1. Episode One: The Death of KU. The KU is a small propeller plane that is infamous at my workplace. Everyone, from the first day they found out about my aerophobia, has warned me about this plane. People who are perfectly fine with flying are terrified of this plane. Needless to say, when I book a plane, I request anything but the KU. Case closed. Well, today I had to fly to a hospital, and I didn't set up the plane. The coordinator on the night before (who obviously hates me and is trying to kill me) did. And he got us the KU. I get to the airport (unknowing) and see the world's tiniest plane. With duct tape. Duct tape on the fuselage. And cracked windows. In fact, the windows were cracked to the point of really being shattered in some areas...and also had some polarizing layer over them to keep the sun out of our eyes (cause God forbid you bleach your rods while you're flying around in a duct-taped wind-up toy.) One of the surgeons had a cracked lens in his surgical goggles. I'm pretty sure that if he'd worn those in the plane and looked out the window, he would have been able to see through time. So, I turned around to get back in the van. The other coordinator and surgeons prodded me into the plane. Dr. ACP wasn't even there to comfort me. He met us at the hospital after flying up in his own plane. We get in the plane...I'm trying to calm down. The other coordinator looks over, puts his hand on my knee, and says "Sam, it'll be okay. If one of the engines goes out, that other engine will take us all the way to the crash site." Great. I'm going to die on a plane full of smart-asses.

The trip to the hospital was pretty uneventful. I spent most of the (mercifully) short flight time staring at the cracks in my window getting bigger as we ascended. I also spent a little time searching the ceiling for oxygen masks. I asked one of the surgeons where they were. Apparently this tiny plane doesn't get high enough off the ground to warrant oxygen masks. The surgeon said that if we crashed we needed to remember to ask the pilot to try and hit something hard...because otherwise we'd all linger in terrible pain for around 3 days prior to succumbing to our not-quite-deadly-enough injuries. And apparently no one (but me) wants that. I'll take my chances with the three days.

I begged Dr. ACP to let me ride with him in his plane back to B'ham. No dice. Apparently you have to have insurance or some bologna like that. The ride back was horrendous. The plane rocked, and seemingly slid from side to side through the air. I screamed at one point....we lost some serious altitude. But it wasn't just me. When we got back, the other coordinator was nauseated, one of the surgeons refused to ever fly on that plane again, the other surgeon literally jumped out of the plane and kissed the ground, and when we touched down I heard the pilot say "I can't believe we made it back in one piece." I don't know whether that referred to our imminent death or the fact that pieces probably frequently fall off the non-duct-taped parts of the plane. Regardless, our director has promised me that we will never fly on that plane again. So goodbye KU. I really could have done without your final voyage...but I survived. And that's what counts.

Okay, I had other stuff to blog about, but this story turned out to be hella long. So I'll try to write some more tomorrow. From work. When I'm bored. :-p Laters!