Just Fallin' Apart

I have been sick all week. I have some kind of terrible mutant cold that is migrating through my body and driving me crazy. I'm hoping to wake up tomorrow and be miraculously cured, but judging from the outcomes every morning this week, I'm not going to hold my breath. So, I am kind of a little bit miserable. But, on the upside, I worked a grand total of one day this week. Muahahaha. I do like that. On the downside, I'm on call over the weekend and I bet I'm going to have some unhappy surgeons if they get stuck sitting in a tiny flying tin can with me hacking my lungs out. We shall see.

Unfortunately, I'm not the only thing falling apart. Everything in my apartment has decided to go on the fritz this week. The other day I cooked and peeled a bunch of vegetables, put their skins in the disposal, whoops! Disposal's broken! Super-sorry! Appliance number 1, down for the count. And let me tell you something, rotting vegetable skins? It's bad news for your olfactory senses. Really bad news. Stupid garbage disposal.

Then, the bathroom sinks decided to act up. My apartment has two sinks outside the bathroom. It's great...I brush my teeth in the sink furthest from the bathroom and wash my hands at the sink closest to the bathroom. It's convenient and when people come to visit, they can have their own sink. That is, of course, unless the obscene amount of sediment and God knows what other kinds of particles don't completely clog up the sink and prevent the flow of any appreciable amount of water. Stupid thing is putting out one tiny thread of water with enough pressure to take a pinkie off. Takes like 10 minutes to wash your hands. And when you're done you're thankful to have retained any digits. Seriously, you could do laser-quality engraving with that thing.

Then there's the shower. The shower has actually been messed up since I moved in. I didn't really notice the problem until little bits of the ceiling started landing in my hair. Because apparently the showerhead is not so well screwed on and therefore is spewing a spout of water up into the ceiling. Eventually it saturates the paint (?) on the ceiling causing it to flake and fall off in little bits. I called the apartment people months ago about this problem and about a closet door that wouldn't slide open. They came while I was at work, fixed the door, and didn't touch the showerhead. So, I decided to just McGyver it. I wrapped a washcloth around the showerhead and tada! Problem solved.

Then tonight, turned on the dishwasher as I've been doing for the past few months. Went, got the mail, watched some television, and decided it was time to make some supper. Walked into the kitchen, and put my foot straight into a nice large puddle. And by large, I mean kitchen-spanning. My entire kitchen floor is covered in a nice thin layer of yellow-ish water. The yellow cast probably due to the mud, particles, sediment, and toxic waste that's dissolved in my tap water. So, I'm just waiting for my fridge to start heating my food and my stove to catch on fire and I'll be seated comfortably in apartment hell.

So, yesterday I called maintenance about all the problems (except for the dishwasher which just happened a few minutes ago, spawning this poisonous post.) A guy shows up at my door around 5 PM. With nothing. No tools, no cool Batman utility belt, dude's not even wearing paint-covered clothes or workboots. In fact, in his polo shirt and khakis, he looks more like I'm keeping him from his golf game. So, I answer the door, "Can I help you?" "Um, yes ma'am. I'm with maintenance." "Oh! Come on in." So, he first fixes the disposal by turning it on and off and then STICKING HIS HAND IN THE THING. I don't know what he did, but he fixed it without the use of tools. Go him. Then it was on to the bathroom sinks. He went to get a set of pliars from his truck (um, you could've brought your little toolbox up the first time buddy...would've saved you some time.) He unscrewed the bottom of the faucet head, pulled out the aerator thing, and scraped it with his fingernails. Way to be professional. Then replaced it. It still doesn't run 100%, but it's better. Then he got a phone call on his cell, so I left him alone and went to watch television. A little while later (after, I assume, he's fixed the other sink and the shower) he comes out, says goodbye, the end. So, the next morning, I get in the shower, and it's still shooting up to the ceiling. So, I decide that I can just as easily fix it as the stupid maintenance guy can since obviously all you need to do any job is a set of pliars. I have a set of pliars, so I get them out and tighten up the showerhead. Screw it on tightly. Or what I assume to be more tightly. Get back in the shower. Turn it on, and it goes EVERYWHERE. It's not just hitting the ceiling, it's now headed in every direction but straight ahead. It was hilarious.

So, now my showerhead has a washcloth safely wrapped around it once again. And my kitchen floor is flooded. And I'm praying that nothing else breaks. Because I don't want to have to hate this apartment. But I'm close. I'm really getting close. Stupid maintenance.