This is what happens when I am sick

You know how I stayed home from work the other day? Yeah, I am paying for it in spades. Apparently I've been struck with karmic retribution in the form of some deadly mutant strep-flu-sinus infection hybrid. I've had it all. Congestion, fever, vomiting, sore throat, and overall misery. I woke up this morning at 5 AM because I was drowning in my own saliva. Which is what happens when you can't swallow because millions of bacteria have been kicking you in the tonsils all night. Bastards.

• I was sitting at my desk and picked up two rubber bands that were stacked together. I started fidgeting with them while talking on the phone. I was trying to do that thing where you pull one through the other to link them...you know what I'm talking about. So, I wasn't looking at them, was just trying to do that. But it wasn't working. I finally thought I had it, looked down, and it was one giant rubber band. My thought? "Oh my God I just did magic and I have no idea how! I should have been watching!" Followed quickly by the realization that it was always a large rubberband that was coiled when I picked it up. Followed quickly by yet another realization. That I am an idiot. And it is time for more Tylenol.
• I don't buy sugar-laden products. Simply because I don't have any willpower to keep myself from eating/drinking these products in outrageous portions. For instance, Chips Ahoy cookies. Samantha's serving size? One sleeve. Not healthy. But when I'm sick, I cut myself some slack. So, I stocked up on clear liquids. Specifically 7-UP and Fresca. Mmm soda. By last night, I was swigging 7-UP straight from the 2-liter bottle. I'm now halfway through the Fresca. Also, "All-natural 7-UP?" Bologna. There is nothing natural about high fructose corn syrup. It is delicious though.
• Early morning television sucks. Although I will say that I totally want to ride in the "Cash Cab." I think I could rack up. Star Trek doesn't start til 1 PM. And I can't sleep. Thank God for Scrabble. Ugh I hate being sick.