Work Ethic

Um...I really don't have one. If I'm on call, sure. I'm all over it. But for some reason, when my boss did this month's schedule, he basically gave me the first two weeks of January off. Which means that I haven't really worked since Christmas. I mean, I have office duties wherein I'm supposed to show up at the office at 8 AM and leave at 5 PM. However, my office duties take a grand total of 10 minutes. And can be put off until I have a giant stack of papers, and then taken care of in 20 minutes on a day that I actually am on call and have to be in the office anyway. So, I haven't gotten to the office before 9 AM at all this year. Not once. I've already missed 2 days of work this year. And it's the 8th day of the year. All in all, I am an employment superstar. So I thought, since I got to work at 9 and left at 11 yesterday, I should probably go to work today. And possibly even stay there for an extended period of time. Sure, I'll be playing Scrabble the whole time, but at least I'll be physically present.

So, I got up at 7 AM. And I was getting ready. And my face was covered in oatmeal facewash stuff. Aaand then the power went out. Fabulous. I'm cold. In the shower. And I can't see. Awesome. So, I get all rinsed off, jump out of the shower. And the power comes back on. Great. 2 minutes later...the power goes back out. So, I call my friend/coworker that lives downstairs.

Me: "Hey, is your power out or is it just my apartment? I'm afraid to mess with the fusebox."
Him: "No, mine's out too."
Me: "So, what are you going to do about work?"
Him: "Um...I'm going back to bed."
Me: "Cool. Call me when you're leaving so we can get there at the same time."
Him: "Okay."

So, I climb back into bed. Until about 9:30. When he calls me back. (I guess it could also be noted that the power's been back on for a good 2 hours by now.)

Him: "Hey, did you get paged?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Damn. Okay, it's the office. I'll call you back."

Great. We're busted. Also, we'll be at least 3 hours late for work. He calls back.

Him: "Hey, it was [our boss]"
Me: "Oh crap. What did you tell him?"
Him: "Um, he called to ask me not to say anything about the guy that got fired yesterday."
Me: "Did you tell him our power was out?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Are you leaving for work now?"
Him: "Are you kidding? I'm still in bed! I'll leave in a little while"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Me: "Damn it, now my pager's going off. Okay, call me when you're getting up."

So, I'm not relishing the thought of talking to my boss. When I'm supposed to be at work. But instead he had to page me at home. I'm spinning a complex web of lies in my mind as the phone rings.

Boss: "Hey Sam. Sorry to bother you. Thanks for calling in."
Me: "Um...no problem."
At this point I'm realizing that he thinks I'm on vacation or something. Score.
Boss: "Blah blah blah don't talk bad about the fired guy blah blah we're working fervently to replace him blah blah help us find someone blah blah blah if we could just get another person like you, that's what we're looking for blah i take full responsibility for hiring him so sorry about the pain it's caused you guys, sorry you had to work so hard blah blah get some rest I'll talk to you later."
Me: "Um, okay. Bye."

Let's get this straight. We have been remarkably busy at work. Last quarter was the busiest quarter that we've had in ten years. Record setting. So, it's hard to get in trouble. Because a. in my current capacity, I am damn near irreplaceable and b. it's not like the work isn't getting done. Sooo, since he obviously wasn't expecting me in today anyway. And since I'd had my traumatic shower experience. And I was 3 hours late anyway. And my bathrobe is comfortable.....when my friend called back, it went something like this:

Him: "Hey, are you ready to go?"
Me: "Umm..yeah. I don't think I'm going to work today."
Him: "Hahaha...really?"
Me: "Yeah...he wasn't expecting me anyway. Plus it's cold outside. So, I think I'll just go in tomorrow."
Him: "I've got some stuff to do, but I'll probably be back by 2. See you later."
Me: "Ok, have fun. Laters."

So, I'm at home. Watching Scrubs. Eating frozen cookies. Playing Scrabble. And thinking about the fact that my boss and the assistant director are both leaving town tomorrow for a week-long conference. This is going to be a pretty sweet week at work. ;)