News You Can't Really Use for Any Discernible Purpose

1. I just watched a new episode of "Gilmore Girls." I generally catch GG in reruns on ABC family, but I just happened upon a new episode and decided to glimpse into the future. News flash GG fans: The future is a dark and terrifying place. Seriously, I wish I could erase the last 30 minutes of my life. Things that should never have happened, have happened. It's not pretty. I don't know where the series derailed, but it has gone hopelessly off the path. I have a lot of catching up to do to figure out just what the hell happened. Arg.

2. Overheard in the office today: "The lady was about 79 years old and needed a colonoscopy. We drug her up and start puttin' in the tube. As soon as that tube touches her rear end, she jumps and kind of murmurs "Oh, Harold!" Sounded like Harold was gettin' it!" I work with really disturbed people.

3. One word for you guys that are swearing by Airborne: waste. Taking Airborne is the equivalent of eating some fruit. It's basically a multivitamin with some baking soda. And here's the thing about vitamins: you can take as much of them as you like, you're just going to pass the excess in your urine. So Airborne, which has 1,670% the Daily Value of Vitamin C, is a waste of vitamins. You're going to get what you need, and then you're going to have some pretty nutritious pee. Yum.

4. I am indescribably excited about this movie. Seriously. It's a movie about penguins. And one of them tap dances. And one of them is voiced by Robin Williams. What could go wrong with this movie? Of course, I also said that about RollBounce. Whatever dude. Dancing penguins, I'm there. :)