Eeew.

Enemy, thy name is salmon fish filet. Do not buy Archer Farms Salmon Filets. Because they are the most incredibly disgusting things the devil has ever devised. You see the picture on the front of the box and you think, "My, how convenient. I believe I'll try these." You take them home, open the box, and sweet Jesus. How did this fish become so incredibly square? The answer? This thing is probably not really a salmon filet. More likely, it's salmon parts. Random salmon parts that were pressed into a cube, individually wrapped, and put into a box for your dining non-pleasure. Despite the unappealing presentation, I thought (since I'd purchased them) I'd give them a try.

I unwrap one, drop it on some tin foil, add butter and lime juice, wrap it up and stick it in the oven. 20 minutes later, I pull it out, open it up, and am greeted by the most putrid odor I've ever had the misfortune of smelling. Apparently the salmon "filet" was butter-resistant because rather than being absorbed into the fish, it formed an egg-like skirt around the fish-square. I scraped it off and in one of my less intelligent moments, decided to try it anyway. I tossed it on a bun, added a bunch of tartar sauce (in a vain attempt to cover its taste), and took a bite. I obviously have an iron stomach because I was able to keep the single bite down. Barely. I had to throw it away. It was THE most disgusting thing I've ever put in my mouth. I would rather eat a bunch of brussels sprouts (because I hate those too, but not this much.)

So, the lesson is: do not buy Archer Farms Salmon Filets. And if you do, don't eat them. Use them as doorstops, build a house with them, or hurl them at your enemies....anything but assaulting your digestive tract with these fish-squares from hell. laters.