Will you be me?

Cause I'm tired of it. The cocktail/dinner thing was actually really good. The thing is (ssshh internets...this is top secret) whenever I go to these AIDS things, I feel like a total imposter. People think I'm really on top of things and that I'm some kind of expert on AIDS policy and stuff like that. News flash folks: totally not. I mean,
1. I read enough to have an opinion on this stuff, and
2. I organized a huge conference on the topic.

But let me translate that for you.
1. Everyone who reads anything on the AIDS epidemic and US policy on the topic will have an opinion. Really. The stuff is totally wack....and you would probably think so too unless you're really right-wing and scary. In which case, you're probably not here reading my blog....because I converted Jessica. :) Yay!
2. I'm an organizer. I can totally get people to do what I want in an organized manner. Because I'm the oldest child in a large military-type family. The only way to get things done is in an organized manner. I know how to get the best out of people...and that translates well into organizing events, leading groups, and all that jazz. I could probably organize a conference on knitting and do fairly well. Because I'm a good speaker, I'm nice, and gosh-darn it, people like me.

So, I'm sitting there listening to these really amazing people talk about the AIDS epidemic, and I'm totally with them. I am completely inspired by them, I have a great deal of compassion for people suffering from HIV/AIDS, and I take great issue with US AIDS policy. But what good does any of that do? I know a few students that are going to work in Rwanda and Zambia this summer. They care about these issues, and they do things about it. I'm totally all talk. Because I'd like to do that stuff, but honestly? When will I do that? I blame my family, but really, I'm sure none of these people's families were all that stoked about their choice to leave for a war-torn African nation to treat AIDS. Particularly when AIDS prevalence among health care workers in these areas mirrors that of the general population due to poor universal precautions. But they're going. If I really wanted to go, I could go. I am the one stopping myself. Because I totally suck. So, in summary, cheers for people who do AIDS work. Jeers to people who are complete posers (i.e. me.) Laters.