Clubbin' 101

1. Do not go clubbing with one gorgeous friend. You will spend the night bored, and hit on by the ugly men who didn't have the misplaced confidence to go for your friend.

2. Do not allow your friend to drink WAYY too much. You will spend the night picking her up off the floor, fighting with her about getting more drinks, and stopping other girls from kicking her ass after she's totally messed up their expensive hair-do*.

3. Do not park in the Methodist church parking lot. Because regardless of the fact that they're really not using the parking lot at 3 AM, when you get to your car, it will be booted. And they will charge you an arm and a leg to get the boot off. And you will be angry. And want to kick them. But the cops are watching, so just go. Really. Leave.

4. Drink. Don't stay out all night sober. It really totally sucks. Don't get pasted, because you need to take care of your friend. But have enough that you're not totally miserable the last 5 hours of it.

5. Don't let it last more than 5 hours. Getting home at 6:30 AM, particularly completely sober, totally sucks. And if you are getting out that late/early, bring sunglasses. Because the sun burns after you've spent the past 8 hours in dark clubs.

*Hair-do (I don't know if that's how you write it or not) is the strangest word ever.