Jane Doe
A woman is brought into the emergency room.
Nurse: "What's the story?"
EMT: "Jane Doe, attempted murder-suicide."
Nurse: "Wow, what happened?"
EMT: "Woman murdered the other victim then shot herself in the head. Unfortunately she somehow failed to kill herself. Just blew out part of her brain."
Nurse: "Holy crap. How's the other victim?"
EMT: "Um. They're murdered."
Nurse: "Oh yeah. So she shot them?"
EMT: "Well, she took the other victim, strangled him, then wrapped him in a towel, held him in her arms and shot herself."
Nurse: "Oh my god. Was it her child?"
EMT: "I have the report right here...you can just read it."
Nurse: "Okay."
EMT REPORT: Arrived on scene to find victims lying in bed. Female with GSW to head, second victim with lack of breath sounds. Victim one, Jane Doe, taken to emergency room. Victim two, Kitty Cat Doe, referred to vet med.
Nurse: laughing "You guys are twisted."
EMT: "Dude, I'm not the one that strangled my cat."
Maybe she wanted him to come with her. Who knows?
posted by mance01 @ 19:55
3 Comments:
Back when I worked on the suicide helpline, when we got to the point in the call where we were trying to help the suicidal caller to latch on to a reason to want to live, sometimes the companionship of an animal was all they had; but it was surprisingly effective. Suicidal people don't want to leave fluffy to face an uncertain future without them (a future which may involve Fluffy getting hungry and surviving off the flesh of the victim until someone notices). When you also consider the practice in ancient cultures of killing pets, horses, and even slaves to be entoumbed with dead royalty (yes, to serve their master in the afterlife), the lady's behavior starts to make a strange sort of sense.
dear samantha, this is possibly the most disturbing thing i heard all day. and i work at a cancer center.
man, that "suicide hotline" entry really killed this comment thread, huh?
hahahaha, stupid cat.
ooh, "killed" poor choice of words I guess
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