Armageddon

I stayed up to watch Armageddon on one of my shiny new cable channels. I haven't seen it in forever, they were singing "leavin' on a jet plane", I couldn't resist. So, it's very close to the end, and I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye...or maybe it was the top of my eye. I don't know. Regardless, I look, and there is a HUGE COCKROACH ON THE CEILING. I mean HUGE. So I immediately freak, run to get the Raid, and to grab something to put over my head. I don't deal well with insects that crunch. And I really don't do well with insects that fly. So I get the broom, the can of Raid, and put a coat over my head (I think my biggest fear is that the bug will land on my head, get lost in my hair, and I won't be able to find the thing for a week.)

That's right....Samantha is in the living room, the television's playing Armageddon, and I am trying to sneak up on a roach with a broom in one hand, a can of Raid in the other, and a fleece jacket over my head. I'm sure it would have been amusing to observe. So, I knock him off the ceiling with the broom (thank GOD he didn't fly.) He falls onto the carpet, I spray him repeatedly with Raid, and he crawls into a hole in the corner. He might be living under my carpet. I don't know, but I don't want to think about it. So I spray the perimeter of the room with Raid and sit back down to finish watching the movie. Bruce Willis disconnects Ben Affleck's oxygen supply, shoves him in the shuttle, and commences with his goodbyes. I commence with the waterworks. I wipe my tears away with my hands.

And get Raid in my eyes.

Stupid bug.