An Open Letter

Dear Orbitz,

Over a month ago, I purchased airline tickets through your site. Your site was recommended to me by someone (I cannot remember who, because if I could, I would at this moment be flogging them mercilessly) and since the tickets were going to be expensive anyway, I just went ahead and bought from you guys. I am usually a customer of Southwest Airlines, but since they don't fly to my intended destination (hey Southwest, go to Boston you jackasses) I had to try my luck with another carrier. So, I logged onto your site, and found the least expensive tickets possible...that didn't involve me spending two days en route. And here is where the saga begins.

This is probably mostly my fault. Southwest has spoiled me. Their first-come-first-serve seating policy has treated me well. Because I am a very punctual person. I get to the airport hella early, check in, and almost always have my pick of seats. (Really southwest, go to boston, i love you guys...and i hear you got new leather seats.) So, buying airline tickets that already have assigned seats kind of threw me off. But what really threw me off was the absolute crappiness of my seating. And the consistency of that condition. It's not like I had a crappy seat on one of my flights. No. On all 4 of my flights. ALL 4!! What's up with that?!?

On the flight from Birmingham to Atlanta (a, thank GOD, 28 minute flight) I was seated in the dreaded "middle" seat. I don't think Southwest even has middle seats cause the planes are all so small. Regardless. I hate to fly. And we had the world's worst pilot on the way to Atlanta. (But I don't blame you for that Orbitz.) Anyway...I am a flailer. If I think I'm falling out of the sky (which I thought several times over the course of the flight) I move my arms. Which meant that I popped the people next to me a few times. The plane made strange noises and at one point I threw my arms up and actually said pretty loudly "What in the name of God is WRONG with this plane?!??" I'm sure that helped the poor little girl who had never flown alone sitting right next to me. Poor thing. I told her I was very sorry they sat me next to her. I told her to blame you, Orbitz. She might send you a letter. So, I think your website should have something that lets you stipulate whether you want a window, aisle, or God forbid, middle seat.

Also, I think you should be able to choose your section of the plane. For instance, given a choice I'd say that the odds of me trying to reserve an engine seat were pretty low. Meaning that flight from Boston to Ohio where I sat pretty much on top of the engine, was not all too pleasant. I tried to look out the window and was greeted with a giant white engine and some screws of questionable stability. I think screws in airplanes should be pretty uniformly screwed in. Apparently the mechanics had a varying opinion. Regardless, not being able to see out the window freaked me out. And I probably spent waaay too much time contemplating the screws.

Finally, I think lavatory seating should be reserved for those with gastrointestinal problems. And believe me, those people were on the plane. I know because they walked right past me several times. And stayed in the lavatory a while. Both flights on the way back I was close enough to the restroom to have the chunky people hitting me while they tried to squeeze in the door. Honestly Orbitz. Really? Twice? In one day? I think that's a little wrong.

So, in closing, I am none too thrilled about my travel conditions. Luckily the in-between time made it totally worth it. But you don't get credit for that Orbitz. You get credit for me sitting between a bathroom and a grizzly old hobo man who smelled like gym socks. It's not a good thing Orbitz. Something to think about.

Sincerely,
Samantha

PS- Feel free to send travel vouchers to make it up to me. You may win me back yet ;)