You Don't Know Me...

I went to a "viewing" tonight. I'm not sure if that's what everyone calls it, but it's that thing where everyone goes and sees a person lying in a casket and comments on how good he/she looks. Honestly, when will a dead person ever look "good"? But that's beside the point. It was the viewing of my coworker's father-in-law. I'm very close friends with this co-worker so I thought it'd be nice if I went. I had never met the decedent, but I knew of him, and I know my co-worker's wife whose father had passed. She's a nurse and her father died of cancer, so I'm sure the whole thing was very hard on her.

I don't go to many funerals or viewings. I've been very lucky not to have lost many people in my family, and the ones I have lost I haven't been very close to. And maybe it's just the job that I do, but the whole death thing really doesn't seem to bother me very much. I'm pretty indifferent to it. I've never seen the need for viewings...kind of thought it was strange to stand around and compliment the dead. But tonight I really warmed to the concept.

I was sitting in the chapel, feeling like a complete sore thumb in this crowd. I only knew my coworker and his wife, and this is a large African American family. I'd been sitting there for maybe 20 minutes when in walked this old white man...probably in his mid-70's. And people are looking at him as he walks in, and one of the deceased's daughters (who was super-friendly) walks up to the man.

Daughter: "Hi, my name is G. I'm M's daughter. Thank you for coming."
Old man: "Hello dear. You don't know me, but I knew your father. We worked together at the Coca-Cola bottling plant years ago. Your father was there much much longer than I was...I was only there 17 years and he was there 47, but I heard that he had passed and I wanted to come and tell you how much I respected him. He was a decent man and a hell of a guy to work with. He made the day go quicker. I just wanted to tell you that."
Daughter: "He did love Coke. And we have the pictures to prove it. Come here and let me show you."

And with that, the old man and this young black woman walk up to these easels full of pictures that are set up at the front of the chapel. And you can see the daughter pointing to the pictures that involve Coke. And you can see the old man smiling. And I realized, that is what viewings are for. You've lost someone you loved very much, but at that time when you're in a very low place, people come out of the woodwork and give you something to hold onto. Several more people ended up coming to the viewing before I left, introducing themselves as people whose lives had been touched by Mr. M. And the family didn't know them, but they brought them in and welcomed them and listened to their stories and probably loved Mr. M more for the person they didn't even know he was.

I cried at the viewing today, and I didn't even know Mr. M. But from the stories of his family and friends, and even acquaintances...

I bet he was amazing.