How to Irritate Me

1. Release a series of DVDs in matching boxes. Then at Season 6, release a box of DVDs that won't even stand up, let alone match the other boxes. Require me to send away for a replacement box that matches the rest of the seasons. I think I would be less annoyed by this if you hadn't anticipated my feelings. But you knew. There was an insert in the box that said something along the lines of "Does this box irritate you? We knew it would. Send us a check for $2.95 and we'll send you a less irritating version. Also, you're anal retentive." Did I need that? No. No I did not.

2. Send me worthless DVDs. I like to rent movies, but I don't like to return them. Thus I am an outlaw at all the local video rental establishments and have been forced to join Netflix. Fine and dandy. I signed up to get 3 at a time, they have a lot of titles I can't find at our crappy rental places anyway, it's all good. That is until I get a good movie, am halfway through it, and it starts skipping like mad. I take it out to see if it needs cleaning. It looks like it's been in a fight with cactus. And it lost. Whatever....one scratched DVD...I'm okay. Then I am waiting to receive a movie that one of my friends recommended. It arrives late, but finally arrives. Pop it in, "no disc." Um....yes there is. I just put it in. Pull it out to see if it needs cleaning. It is cracked. In half. AND GLUED BACK TOGETHER. WTF Netflix?!??

3. Don't carry the books I want. Jefferson County Library System...what is up? Tom Robbins is a very popular author. He has many best-selling books. Why do you have only 2 of his books? And why are neither of the two the one I want? Hmm?? I went to two different libraries today to no avail. You leave me no choice. Barnes & Noble it is.

4. Complain about my spending-habits, even though you don't give me any money. My mother is always hounding me about buying books..."Why don't you just go to the library? That's a waste of money!" To this I say:

Dear Mom,
The libraries here suck. They don't have the book I want. Also, when I called you this morning you were in a drive-through spending $4 on a coffee-drink.
Love,
Samantha