Monday, April 30, 2007

Interview

So I'm doing this interview thing via Tom's blog. His instructions to me were to answer the questions in order, without reading ahead. Here we go.

1. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?
Wolverine. Because he's played by Hugh Jackman. Plus the ability to survive a gunshot wound to the head is bad-ass.

2. You're an evil genius bent on world domination - what do you call the legitimate business entity used as a front for your evil organization?
Hmm...I dunno. Something like LifePlus or SurgiPro...because we will manufacture something used in surgery. I could afford to *buy* the world if I could just invent something used in surgery. Seriously. That's my goal. Just one tiny piece of plastic that's used in a common surgery. Appendectomies, tonsillectomies, gastric bypass, or CABG. I would be a gajillionaire.

3. (a) Name six of your closest friends or family members.
C, P, Bear, Scott, Richard, Brett

3. (b) If you and those six people were stranded in a desolate wasteland (tundra, glacier, iceberg, desert, savanah, Kansas), who would you eat first to stay alive?
(haha kansas) Probably Brett.

3.(c) How did you choose?
He's the meatiest.

4. Given the current state of the crude oil market, increasing threat of hostile nations arming for nuclear war, current shortage of blood and organ donors, and advances in computer technology, which of the following scenarios do you think the most likely: The Postman, Road Warrior, The Matrix, or,Terminator?
I'm tempted to go with "The Postman" because that's the only occupation which is currently available. Although with email that position is probably not the wave of the future. And soon we won't be able to afford gas so lets rule out "Road Warrior." Also, Arnold looks like hell. Lets go with "The Matrix." Because it's an awesome movie (And it's the only one of the choices that I've actually seen/know anything about.) Although to survive in that much leather we'll probably need some sort of nuclear winter to happen first. I'm sitting in Alabama in a tank-top, shorts, windows open and a fan blowing on me. I couldn't imagine wearing some skintight vinyl number at the moment.

5. What is the most crucial public health issue facing the global population in the next decade?
Really depends on what you're talking about. Developed or developing nations? Elderly populations? The young? There's a ton of different stuff. If you're an old person in the US, it might be drug-resistance. If you're a 25 year old woman in Africa, it might be AIDS. Depends on the situation.

5. (optional clarification): Facing the US? Facing Africa? Europe? China?
Haha...see, this is where the reading ahead would have been helpful. :-p
Facing the US, I would still want to break it down into subcategories but without going too deep I would have to go with drug resistance and obesity. It's a huge web of interconnected problems spanning in all directions. Doctors overprescribe antibiotics, but they're forced to because if they miss treating a bacterial infection they'll get sued, and they're already paying malpractice premiums that are so high they're discouraging people from practicing medicine blah blah I could go on for days. The other big thing in the US is obesity. People are looking at it as an aesthetic problem, and a personal problem. People shouldn't be fat, it's their own fault for getting that way, we shouldn't have to spend money on educating people about this because it's their own fault. The thing is, even assuming those things are true, the US public suffers the consequences. Overweight and thin alike. We're all paying increased health care costs because hospitals are having to buy special equipment for these patients. It's much better to pay for prevention than the gajillion dollars in healthcare costs overweight people accumulate through the variety of comorbid conditions and procedures that result from their condition.
Facing Africa, the big thing is HIV/AIDS. But that too is a result of a number of equally important conditions. Malnutrition, poverty, social norms, these things all work together to create an environment in which the disease can thrive. AIDS in Africa is no different than AIDS in the US or Europe or South America. The difference is the way its been dealt with. Seriously thinking about Africa makes me cry. So I'm moving on.
I'll assume Europe has a lot of the same problems as America public-health wise. I haven't done a lot of research into their situation.
China is eventually going to have a reproductive health crisis if they keep up their social norms of aborting female children. Their attempts at population control are going to eventually lead to a shortage of females with which to procreate. You're going to end up with mail-order brides that may have been prostitutes in the past (VD), mail-order brides that don't have STDs but still end up being the victims of abuse (studies have shown them to be a high-risk group for that type of thing), and those men that can't afford to buy a bride and end up as very sexually frustrated young men wandering around with too much testosterone in their system (increased violence and sexual assault rates.) Hopefully they'll fix that before it becomes a huge problem.

5. (bonus): How do we stop it?
Public health education. In all of these situations we need a plan, we need people to execute, and sweet baby Jesus do we need funding. Even in the US, where we spend more money on healthcare than anything else, we don't put any money into public health. We've got all these advanced treatments and world-renowned surgeons and what's billed as the best healthcare in the world. If bird-flu broke out right now, we would be completely screwed. We have NO public health infrastructure, no funding. "Oh, but we have a great health department blah blah blah." No you don't. The majority of health departments in the US are staffed by people that know nothing about public health. They know you should eat healthy and wash your hands. And that's why the US has these public health problems. The government is unwilling to pay money to qualified people. I have a master's degree in public health and every one of us in that school knew that we were not there for the money. Cause there's none to be had. Unfortunately it's going to take a major crisis in US health for somebody to step up and call for the funding we need to build a system that works. We'll see what happens.
Africa, God love them, doesn't have the money to spend. So there are tiny little satellite efforts at public health education. And don't get me started on Africa's inability to afford antiretrovirals. All I will say is that the CEOs of some of these US pharmaceutical companies are going straight to hell. Also, I love Brazil.
Seriously I could talk about public health all day. I'm going to cut myself off. But if any of you end up in government positions, remember. We need public health. Badly.

Want to play along? Rules of the game:
1. Send an email saying, “Interview me”, or words to that effect.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions of my choosing.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You have to include this explanation, and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions...

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Ramblings

My shift ends at 7 AM. Which means that I will have been awake for 24 hours in another hour and a half. Which also means that I'm at that point in the day when everything is fascinating to me. And I think deep thoughts.

- If you were a chocolate bunny, would you eat yourself? My answer would be yes. A coworker brought everyone a chocolate bunny for Easter. I ate mine straight out of the office mailbox. At 8 AM. Then I ate my office-mate's bunny because he didn't want it. 5 minutes later. If I were made of chocolate, I'm pretty sure I'd eat myself. Couldn't help it.
- I could probably wallpaper my living room with Hershey's kisses wrappers. Every Valentine's Day my father buys me a "tin" of assorted Hershey's chocolates. And by "tin", I mean "drum." And by "drum" I mean, "suitable for reuse as a missile silo." It's literally at least 10 pounds of assorted candy. By 2 weeks in, it's a tin of Hershey's kisses. Because the Krackles, Mr. Goodbars, Reese's Cups, and Dark Chocolate Minis don't make it very long. Search and destroy babay. So I've taken it upon myself to eat all the chocolate before I move. Because everyone's gotta have goals. So, I have a drum of chocolate by the couch and a jar of peanut butter on the coffee table. Because Hershey's kisses are only acceptable when smothered in peanut butter.
- The "Great American Country" channel is somehow watchable at 5:30 AM. Maybe that's because I can't really hear anymore. It's more of a buzzing noise.
- Have you ever bought moisturizing bodywash that is *too* moisturizing? I bought some weird bodywash with bodycreme ribbons or something. Sure, my skin is soft and moisturized. But water also beads and deflects off me now. I feel like I've showered with Rain-X.
- Ooh. My car broke. The service engine light came on. My friend told me to get the code read at an express oil place and if it was just a sensor or something, he'd fix it for me. Took it in. "Uh..ma'am? That's not a good code." "Uh huh. What is the code?" "Transmission Component Slipping." "Would that explain the giant clunk emanating from my hood on the way to work this morning? And the kickback everytime I accelerate?" "Um...probably." "So can you fix it?" "You need your transmission rebuilt." "Greeeat." I was contemplating just junking my truck because holy crap it is a piece. But then I realized that my truck is paid for. And even a 2 grand investment all at once is better than starting a car payment. And paying higher insurance rates because my car would actually be worth stealing. So repair it is! Woo! Also, I blame all my auto woes on starting a savings account. I've never had problems I couldn't afford to fix. Which amounted to having no problems cause I couldn't afford to fix them anyway. I guess they were right. Mo' money, mo' problems.
- C got burgled. Again. I don't want to say much because I don't want to jinx myself. But she gets burgled more than anyone I know. I think it stems from owning things worth burgling. My robbers would be greeted by a $25 DVD player and a really heavy non-plasma television. Here's the other thing. C has a rottweiler. A ROTTWEILER. And she has been robbed twice in the past year. Robbers have walked into her house. And the dog didn't eat them. Ridiculous. Of course, the robbers this time were a little smarter. They brought barbeque and fed it to the dog. I think C should start pricking her finger to train the dog to develop a taste for blood. Of course, I guess that's step one in dying alone and being eaten by Alsatians. But whatever. If I'm losing my tv, you're losing a limb.

Okay, back to working. And country music television. Laters! :)

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Hippitus Hoppitus

So Easter has once again come and gone. And once again my family has found new and exciting ways to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. You know, with three-legged races and Easter muggings. Yeah. That's how we roll.

So, I went down to my parents' house on Good Friday with the intention of making it home in time to go to service and watch Jo do her altar serving thang. Mistake #1. I will never ever again in the course of my time on this earth attend the Good Friday service again. I've had times where I haven't paid attention in church. I've never had a time where I prayed for mass to end so I could go drink heavily. Holy crap that is a long and ridiculous service. We must have kneeled 420 times. We had to listen to the worst choir in the world sing a capella. My father (genius) stepped out of the service about 20 minutes into it and went to sit in the car. Apparently he "wasn't feeling well." Dude, no one was feeling well at the one hour mark. About ten minutes after Dad left, Mom went "to go check on him" adding "suckas!" on her way out. The girls and I were in the service for another hour. By the time it was over, I just didn't want to feel anymore. So, I went bowling with Bear and a couple of her friends. And I drank. And it was good.

The next night it was time to start the Easter celebration. Egg-dying babay. I'm usually not big on artsy-craftsy things. Because I suck at them. And because art is Jessica's job. But Jessica wasn't home, so we did our best. Meet our tribe of eggs. Including Bob Marley. And Larry.The next day my mother tried to eat Larry at breakfast. So I was forced to wear him in a holster around my neck. The Easter bunny brought everyone baskets (he also brought me a ring-pop), and it was time for the Easter egg hunt. Last year my father tied our legs together and made us hop around our enormous yard in the desperate search for chocolatey goodness. This year, Dad decided to tie our legs to one another. I have no idea why every Easter egg hunt is bondage-themed at my house, but it's a good time nonetheless. So, Dad tied us together for the hunt. Jess and Jen, Bear and I, and Mom and Jo.
















My father had told me before the hunt that the best eggs were in the front yard. So Bear and I struck out toward the front. Every egg we picked up was empty. We were picking up the stupid empty eggs when we noticed Jess and Jen were also in the front, picking up eggs that probably weren't empty. We thought it best to slow them down. So, we started throwing the eggs back in the yard. And then we started finding eggs filled with stuff, emptied the eggs into our bag, and then threw them back into the yard empty. This made the hunt a lot more amusing. We ended up with quite a few eggs, and some bruised legs. We went to sort through the booty and noticed Mom and Jo wandering around the yard with a bag bulging with eggs. The obvious solution to this disparity? Easter mugging. We ran up behind Mom and Jo, pushed them down a hill, and stole their bag of eggs. Of course, stopping to photograph my Mom dragging poor little Jo down the hill.

















The mugging was successful, but there was a casualty. My mother crushed poor Larry. RIP.
















In the end, we pooled the Easter candy. And I stole the household's supply of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. Because they are the best Easter candy. Ever. We went to Easter mass (which wasn't anywhere near as unbearable as the Good Friday non-mass) and I came back to Birmingham Sunday night. And ate peanut butter eggs. And it was goooood. :) I love Easter.

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Running

Sorry about the infrequent posting as of late. I would tell stories about how I've been really busy and work has been crazy and I've joined the crusade to save the endangered animals, but all of those things would be equally far-fetched. I've been doing nothing. Work has been crazy slow. And the closest I've come to helping the endangered animals is signing up for a 5K Zoo Run that is incidentally a fundraiser for elephants. Although I'm pretty sure the funds are to capture an elephant and bring him to the Birmingham zoo. Which I wouldn't consider helpful to its plight. It would probably rather have its tusks made into tribal nosepieces than have to spend the rest of its days being fed peanuts by Mountain Brook soccer moms and their spawn. But whatever. I get a t-shirt. So, in lieu of having anything interesting to post about, I thought I'd update you on my 5K training.

You see, I don't exercise. So, a 3 mile run is something I have to train for two months to complete. Which is ridiculous, but c'est la vie. The thing about running is this: it is wicked boring. There's nothing to do but run. And if you're on a track, there's nothing to look at. At least on a trail there are some trees or something...occasionally people pass you and you can notice how their shorts are riding up in the middle and self-consciously think about the fact that yours are probably doing the same. It's all about staying awake. And not thinking about how your heart has been forced to pump body through your blood at an alarming rate for the last 3/4 of a mile. I've found that the best way to get through this arduous task is to listen to music. And to do lamaze. But the music is important too. So, for you aspiring runners (read: people that walk with feeling because I think that's really a more accurate description of what I do) I present (in no particular order cause I listen to it on shuffle): my "Running" playlist.

1. "Kerosene" by Miranda Lambert. Yes, I realize this is a country song. Regardless, I love to listen to it because the last time I heard it was riding in the car with my sisters. There's nothing better than listening to my four sisters sing an angry chick country song in perfect unison. Especially when I realize Bear is singing about her recently dumped boyfriend, and Jo (the 11 year old) is probably thinking about the little boy who "cheated" on her. His name was Jimmy Dean. I think it's safe to let that one go.
2. "Wannabe" by...wait for it...The Spice Girls. Again, it's good to have music that makes you laugh while you run. I first heard the Spice Girls when my *father* bought their cassette back when I was in jr. high. I got in the van, he popped it in the deck, and my sisters and I were sold. What possessed my father to buy this tape while at the store by himself is something that I've been afraid to ask and may never know, but we wore that thing out. Also, there were five spice girls, there are five girls in my family. Of course we broke every song down into parts and sang with feeling. I'm not going to lie to you. :-p
3. "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira. Great great great song. I actually knew the song way before it was a radio single. You see, it was originally performed by another band for the "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" soundtrack. And since I own that movie and its soundtrack...I knew it pretty well. But Shakira's version is better. The only problem with this is that it's hard not to dance to...and it's even harder to dance and run. Stupid running.
4. "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. I have harbored an enduring hatred of Avril Lavigne ever since Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace produced one of her albums and let her move into his house during the production. But I've moved past it. Mainly because OLP kind of sucks now, and because Raine Maida looks more and more like Kevin Federline everyday. So, I've decided to give her a chance. It's a catchy song with a quick beat, I'm totally into it. Also, for all those who say she sold out, her biggest song was "Sk8ter Boi." Seriously? What did she sell out? The 13 year old instant message constituency?
5. "Runaway Love" by Mary J. Blige and Ludacris. I could run to this song all day. The beat is perfect for the speed at which I run (i.e. it's perfect for walking.) It's kind of depressing I guess, but Mary J. Blige has a beautiful voice. She's an amazing singer. A guy at work gave me a copy of her last album...I'm a fan.
6. "Jerk it Out" by The Caesars. A great tempo for people that actually run. This is the only song I found on an iMix that I liked. Good stuff.
7. "Cupid's Chokehold" by Gym Class Heroes. I was introduced to this song when my sisters were grounded for watching the video on YouTube. Catchy song, cute video. I especially like the dancing cupid. I just realized that if I had a video iPod, I could run and watch television. And here I am looking at scenery like a sucker. Geez.
8. "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" by Fallout Boy. A good song for the last mile. When you're angry. The swearing can be your own little anthem.
9. "I'm Shipping up to Boston" by Dropkick Murphys. From "The Departed" sountrack. This song is kickass for so many reasons. The music is awesome, the lyrics are about a peg-legged sailor, the tempo is fantastic, and it reminds me that I am soon getting the hell out of Alabama. Talk about a motivator. Awesome song.
10. "Turtleneck Coverup" by Ozma. That video is a terrible version of the song, but the album version is great. You should download it.

I've probably got another 10-15 songs on the playlist. I might do another installment of blogging about it, but probably not since the rest are a lot of songs from the same artists. A few Arctic Monkeys songs, a bunch of Old 97s, Flogging Molly, Scissor Sisters, and Gwen Stefani. Going "running" again tonight. Luckily it's cooled down a bit. Running in 90 degree weather and 80 percent humidity kind of sucked. Apparently next Thursday night is a pub run. That's more like it. Laters :)

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