Hello God, It's Me, Samantha

Sorry I've been MIA all month. Work has been C-R-A-Z-Y.

• Today we tied our all-time record for number of donors ever in a month. Which is awesome. And terrible. Awesome because we've pretty much wiped out our lists...if you were on our transplant list and you were really sick, you got taken care of this month. We even transplanted a patient that no one thought would ever get transplanted because she was so highly sensitized. Turns out she just needed the perfect donor. The numbers this month have been awe-inspiring. Of course, so has the workload. We are actually short a coordinator since we recently lost someone. Soo, we're short-staffed and having a record month. Which means that there isn't a single well-rested employee at my organization. There's been some kind of three-week cold/plague that's ravaged the staff (me included), my boss had a life-altering death in the family, someone else was diagnosed with cancer, and someone else was bitten by some kind of evil spider that caused her tissue to necrose and landed her in the hospital. Needless to say, I am exhausted. And so is absolutely everyone else I work with.

That being said, there are a few things that are getting me through the day:

• Today I had to go to a hospital with a paid-parking deck. There are about 3 hospitals in town with these decks, and they usually will let me out for free when I tell them who I'm with. So, I go to check on my patient until first call can relieve me. I'm there long enough for the deck parking to cost $4. I have no cash, and I have no ATM card cause I lost my checkcard on New Year's Eve. Or at least that's when it was last seen. Anyway, so, this hospital validates the parking for clergy and lets them park for free. So, when I leave, I stop by the information desk. "Hey, can you validate my parking?" Show my badge, tell them who I work for, blah blah blah. "No, only for clergy." "Right, but every hospital lets us park for free because we're emergency workers." "Right. But you're not clergy." We talked for about 5 minutes. The gist of the conversation was that hell no I was not getting free parking. Soo angry. While I was standing there trying to talk some sense into this woman, some clergy guy came in, signed the clipboard, and got a free pass. So, I finally gave up, and started walking toward the ATM thinking maybe it would take a credit card? The clergy guy saw me. "Ma'am? Take my pass." "Oh, no. That's fine, I'll just go to the ATM." "No, really. I'll only be here a few minutes and I have change. Please take it." "Wow, okay. Thanks so much." That's right. He gave me his free parking pass. God bless you, man of God.
• I still haven't heard from schools, but I'm excited regardless. Either way I'm getting out of Alabama. Finally. Today my boss called me into his office. "Are you sure you're leaving in June?" "Yes." "What do I have to do to get you to stay?" "There's really nothing. I like working here, the money's fine, I just hate Alabama." "I'll make it worth your while." "You can't offer me anything to make me stay." "We'll see." So I have no idea what he's planning...it might be interesting.
• I have over a week off of work in February. I am absolutely living for vacation at this point. Come ooon second week of February.

I hope to resume blogging at regular intervals, but I also hope to resume sleeping more than 3 nights a week. Gotta have priorities people. Laters :)

This is what happens when I am sick

You know how I stayed home from work the other day? Yeah, I am paying for it in spades. Apparently I've been struck with karmic retribution in the form of some deadly mutant strep-flu-sinus infection hybrid. I've had it all. Congestion, fever, vomiting, sore throat, and overall misery. I woke up this morning at 5 AM because I was drowning in my own saliva. Which is what happens when you can't swallow because millions of bacteria have been kicking you in the tonsils all night. Bastards.

• I was sitting at my desk and picked up two rubber bands that were stacked together. I started fidgeting with them while talking on the phone. I was trying to do that thing where you pull one through the other to link them...you know what I'm talking about. So, I wasn't looking at them, was just trying to do that. But it wasn't working. I finally thought I had it, looked down, and it was one giant rubber band. My thought? "Oh my God I just did magic and I have no idea how! I should have been watching!" Followed quickly by the realization that it was always a large rubberband that was coiled when I picked it up. Followed quickly by yet another realization. That I am an idiot. And it is time for more Tylenol.
• I don't buy sugar-laden products. Simply because I don't have any willpower to keep myself from eating/drinking these products in outrageous portions. For instance, Chips Ahoy cookies. Samantha's serving size? One sleeve. Not healthy. But when I'm sick, I cut myself some slack. So, I stocked up on clear liquids. Specifically 7-UP and Fresca. Mmm soda. By last night, I was swigging 7-UP straight from the 2-liter bottle. I'm now halfway through the Fresca. Also, "All-natural 7-UP?" Bologna. There is nothing natural about high fructose corn syrup. It is delicious though.
• Early morning television sucks. Although I will say that I totally want to ride in the "Cash Cab." I think I could rack up. Star Trek doesn't start til 1 PM. And I can't sleep. Thank God for Scrabble. Ugh I hate being sick.

Work Ethic

Um...I really don't have one. If I'm on call, sure. I'm all over it. But for some reason, when my boss did this month's schedule, he basically gave me the first two weeks of January off. Which means that I haven't really worked since Christmas. I mean, I have office duties wherein I'm supposed to show up at the office at 8 AM and leave at 5 PM. However, my office duties take a grand total of 10 minutes. And can be put off until I have a giant stack of papers, and then taken care of in 20 minutes on a day that I actually am on call and have to be in the office anyway. So, I haven't gotten to the office before 9 AM at all this year. Not once. I've already missed 2 days of work this year. And it's the 8th day of the year. All in all, I am an employment superstar. So I thought, since I got to work at 9 and left at 11 yesterday, I should probably go to work today. And possibly even stay there for an extended period of time. Sure, I'll be playing Scrabble the whole time, but at least I'll be physically present.

So, I got up at 7 AM. And I was getting ready. And my face was covered in oatmeal facewash stuff. Aaand then the power went out. Fabulous. I'm cold. In the shower. And I can't see. Awesome. So, I get all rinsed off, jump out of the shower. And the power comes back on. Great. 2 minutes later...the power goes back out. So, I call my friend/coworker that lives downstairs.

Me: "Hey, is your power out or is it just my apartment? I'm afraid to mess with the fusebox."
Him: "No, mine's out too."
Me: "So, what are you going to do about work?"
Him: "Um...I'm going back to bed."
Me: "Cool. Call me when you're leaving so we can get there at the same time."
Him: "Okay."

So, I climb back into bed. Until about 9:30. When he calls me back. (I guess it could also be noted that the power's been back on for a good 2 hours by now.)

Him: "Hey, did you get paged?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Damn. Okay, it's the office. I'll call you back."

Great. We're busted. Also, we'll be at least 3 hours late for work. He calls back.

Him: "Hey, it was [our boss]"
Me: "Oh crap. What did you tell him?"
Him: "Um, he called to ask me not to say anything about the guy that got fired yesterday."
Me: "Did you tell him our power was out?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Are you leaving for work now?"
Him: "Are you kidding? I'm still in bed! I'll leave in a little while"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Me: "Damn it, now my pager's going off. Okay, call me when you're getting up."

So, I'm not relishing the thought of talking to my boss. When I'm supposed to be at work. But instead he had to page me at home. I'm spinning a complex web of lies in my mind as the phone rings.

Boss: "Hey Sam. Sorry to bother you. Thanks for calling in."
Me: "Um...no problem."
At this point I'm realizing that he thinks I'm on vacation or something. Score.
Boss: "Blah blah blah don't talk bad about the fired guy blah blah we're working fervently to replace him blah blah help us find someone blah blah blah if we could just get another person like you, that's what we're looking for blah i take full responsibility for hiring him so sorry about the pain it's caused you guys, sorry you had to work so hard blah blah get some rest I'll talk to you later."
Me: "Um, okay. Bye."

Let's get this straight. We have been remarkably busy at work. Last quarter was the busiest quarter that we've had in ten years. Record setting. So, it's hard to get in trouble. Because a. in my current capacity, I am damn near irreplaceable and b. it's not like the work isn't getting done. Sooo, since he obviously wasn't expecting me in today anyway. And since I'd had my traumatic shower experience. And I was 3 hours late anyway. And my bathrobe is comfortable.....when my friend called back, it went something like this:

Him: "Hey, are you ready to go?"
Me: "Umm..yeah. I don't think I'm going to work today."
Him: "Hahaha...really?"
Me: "Yeah...he wasn't expecting me anyway. Plus it's cold outside. So, I think I'll just go in tomorrow."
Him: "I've got some stuff to do, but I'll probably be back by 2. See you later."
Me: "Ok, have fun. Laters."

So, I'm at home. Watching Scrubs. Eating frozen cookies. Playing Scrabble. And thinking about the fact that my boss and the assistant director are both leaving town tomorrow for a week-long conference. This is going to be a pretty sweet week at work. ;)

My PHILONYE Has a First Name

Wow. I don't even know where to begin with my PHILONYE recap. I'll try to come at it from the "I don't even know what the hell PHILONYE is" angle, for my readers that aren't from the northeast. So, PHILONYE stands for Philadelphia on New Year's Eve. Which is where I went. Basically, my boyfriend Tom and his friends get together in whatever city for a New Year's bash. I think it's a great idea. I have never spent New Year's with my friends- opting instead to play poker in rural Alabama with my family- but this idea has merit. Especially with Tom's friends...many of whom are hilarious.

So, Adina and Mr. Anonymous live in Philly, and elected to host this year's event. And thus PHILONYE was born. And there was much rejoicing. And drinking. Originally I was slated to arrive on Friday night, stay with Adina and Mr. Anon, and then Tom and his Bostonian contingent would arrive on Saturday. I was not a fan of this idea because 1. less time with my boyfriend and 2. as much as I love Adina online, hello I've never met her. What if she's totally nuts?!? Lucky for me, she is as hilarious as her blog leads you to believe. Also, she and Mr. Anon are the cutest couple ever. Because they are great. Also, they are very compact. Which I think adds to the cuteness. Seriously. They are tiny. And they are great hosts. I walked in and was greeted by the sight of many many bags of chips, hummus, 2 cases of beer, and cookies. Mmmm cookies. Well played, Anonymouses. So we had snacks, and played Scrabble, and Tom and his truckload of people arrived Friday night! Woo!

Everyone came over and I got to meet the whole gang (with the exception of a few that didn't arrive until New Year's Eve.) We did the "whoever is holding the bottle of sauvignon blanc has to introduce him/herself and then take a swig of wine" introduction game (being played by our hostess above.) Mmm...swigging wine. Classy. So we quit playing Scrabble (which was great cause sweet baby Jesus I was getting stomped) and moved onto what could probably be named the official game of PHILONYE. Mafia. I really enjoy playing Mafia, although I do find it kind of stressful. I love to just be a townsperson. That way, my existence doesn't really matter. Also, I find it much easier to be convincing when I'm being honest. The lying kind of stresses me out. Of course, maybe I would be more convincing if I was wearing a piece of tape labeled "Definitely NOT Mafia." :-p That first night of Mafia followed a pretty basic formula. First, kill off Justin. Then kill off Tom. Justin because otherwise he will continue to yell and Adina has neighbors. Tom because apparently that is what they do. Tom's default position was killing off Adina. But Adina wasn't wearing flannel, and thus tended to fare better with survival. So the first night was basically Mafia all night, then everyone left except Tom, Donny, and I who stayed at Adina's. Poor Donny ended up on the air mattress. At least until he rolled off in the middle of the night and ended up sleeping on the floor.

The next day, we set out to find the hotel we'd be staying at the rest of the visit. It was thought to be nearby. And depending on who you asked, it was. Ask Thomas, and he'll say it's not that far. Ask me, who is walking the 2 miles at 3 AM in 40 degree weather, and I will say "OH MY GOD WHY THE HELL ARE WE WALKING?!?" Because I live in Alabama, and we don't walk. And we don't have 40 degree weather. However, Adina was kind enough to lend me a pair of tennis shoes for the visit. Which was pretty much a necessity, because if left to only the pair of boots with 2 inch heels I brought, Tom would've been carrying me around Philadelphia. And then we both would have needed wheelchairs. So again, Adina = best hostess ever. Later that day, we met for sushi. Woo! Man I love sushi. And Tom ate some, even though he calls it "bait" and there was much happiness. We later returned to the apartment and played, you guessed it, Mafia. Also, at some point we played taboo (which I suck at), scattergories (also suck), and some drinking game (shockingly enough, still sucked. Although most of that game is luck of the draw I think.)

That night we went out to an Irish pub for dinner. And the food was awesome. Also, John created the greatest invention ever. We ended up needing two tables to accomodate the entire group since there were almost 20 of us. One table played drinking games the entire time, and on more than one occasion people at my table turned around to see who was making out with whom. I was too lazy to drink that much. I also knew that I had a 2 mile hike back to my hotel. So I stuck with a single beer. My table was more concerned with eating. I think we were all starving. I couldn't even be troubled to look up

from my menu for a photo. We went straight from the pub/restaurant to the bowling alley. Of course, when we got there it turned out to cost an ungodly amount, and we would need multiple lanes for all of our people. So we played some foosball. And then we walked back to the apartment. And then we played Mafia for 3 hours. It was insane. And we walked back to the hotel. At 3 AM. In 40 degree weather. For 2 miles. I complain a lot, but in retrospect it wasn't really that bad. I know to bring a hat for next time. Also, I know that if I move to New England, I will die. Useful information. Really though...I had gloves, I had a scarf, I had layers. I'm just a big pansy. As Tom so kindly reminded me. Jerkstore. :-p

So finally it was New Year's Eve. And what better way to spend the day in Philadelphia, than by playing Pit all day? Really. What could beat that? The answer is nothing, because Pit is awesome. I'm buying it and taking it to my sisters...because it's great. We played Pit all day, and then it was time to go out for New Year's. First we were going to have dinner at a Thai restaurant, and then we'd make our way to a pub for drinking and dancing the rest of the night. Let me tell you a little something about going out in the northeast. I was not dressed for it. In Birmingham, we go out in halter tops or something similarly skimpy. That is just how we roll. Because even when it's cold here, it's not that cold. And no one looks at you like you're crazy when you roll into a bar in February wearing a tube top. Unless you're chunky. And then you're just crazy for wearing a tube top. So, I brought two halter tops for New Year's. And it was 40 degrees outside. "Tom, I don't know, should I wear this? Most of your friends seem to dress pretty conservatively. Also, it's like 12 degrees outside. I don't want to look nuts." "No, it looks great, other people will be dressed like that, you're fine. Just wear a coat." Oookay. So, me in a silk halter top. Then a coat and scarf, and gloves. I should have known I was going to look like a freak. Also that I was going to freeze to death and die in the street. We get to the restaurant for dinner, everyone's taken their coats off, and there I am. The only person not wearing a sweater. And I'm not just not wearing a sweater, I'm wearing a shirt that doesn't have a freaking back on it for cripes' sake. Ugh. So, I finally took the coat off, because it's hard to eat Thai food in a coat. I looked crazy. Also, I was cold. Lesson two in dressing for the northeast: wear a shirt. Also, never ask your boyfriend whether you should wear less clothing. You're not going to get a good answer.

So, we finally ended up at the bar and it was a blast. I think the best story of the night was Mo's. The ladies room had a really long line, so some girl suggested to Mo that they go use the men's room. They walked right in, and although the girl offered to share a stall with Mo, they ended up in different ones. Thank God. Because a minute after they go in, a bouncer comes in yelling that she has to get out. The bouncer kicks the girl's stall door in, grabs the girl and tells her she has to leave. She asks to retrieve her coat and he tells her no. Mo is still in the next stall undetected, although i'm pretty sure she was glad to be in the bathroom. I would have wet myself. She waited a couple minutes, then snuck out of the men's room without incident. So she came the closest to getting kicked out that night. A close second to the couple in the group that actually did get kicked out last year for another restroom incident. Luckily they nipped that in the bud this year. "NO PASSION!" was their mantra for the night. ;)

I will report that our hotel was right next to the Rodin museum, and the museum where Rocky ran up the stairs in those stupid movies. (Man, I hate Sylvester Stallone. Also, I hate the name Sylvester.) And we did not do any Philadelphia-related activities while we were there. I ate no cheesesteak (good for me, since I'm a vegetarian), I saw no Liberty Bell (because who cares about some bell? I don't), I didn't go into any museums (although I did want to go to the medical museum. The sign on the front called it "disturbingly informative" which I'm totally into), and I didn't buy any souvenirs. I went up there to do one thing- have a great time- and all I can say is mission accomplished.

I can't wait for next year :)

*Thanks to Donny and Felecia for posting their pictures. I stole them. :)

New Year's Resolutions

I am going to do a huge post about PHILONYE, but am opting to wait until some of the participants post pictures. Because a. pictures are great, b. my friends won't know who I'm talking about without illustrations, and c. I didn't bring a camera, so I have to steal photos from everyone else. I don't even know where to begin about PHILONYE...but rest assured, I'll figure it out.

In the meantime, I usually don't make New Year's Resolutions. I don't have many bad habits. Not a smoker, not in need of a diet, not a terribly mean person that should work on being nicer. I don't even drink that much anymore. If anything, I should resolve to be less boring. But, I'm going to make some resolutions, because it's New Year's, and I need a post.

1. I resolve to make more time for friends. I have awesome friends, and I see them a lot less than I used to. Much of this is directly related to starting a full-time job. But it's probably more directly correlated with me being really lazy and using my job as an excuse for not prying myself off the couch. Also, I got cable this year. Kiss of death.

2. I resolve to get out of my holding pattern. I've lived in Alabama for over a decade. I've been trying to get into medical school on and off for 4 years. I've worked for the same organization since I was 19. It's time. By the end of the year, I'm either going to be in medical school in Birmingham, or out of Alabama.

3. I resolve to cook more. I got a panini-maker for Christmas. And a food chopper thing. And a cookbook. I have the equipment...I just lack the ability. I need to practice. Plus, I've started to realize that restaurant food is usually not very good. But always very overpriced. Last month I didn't eat out at all. One whole month, no restaurants. I saved a bunch of money, it was great. But I also had to rely on my own cooking, and thus lost some weight and now my pants don't fit. Which is decidedly uncool. Pants are expensive. Time to start cooking stuff that's not my specialty "A bag of frozen birdseye vegetables."

4. Exercise more...wow. I can't even type that with a straight face. Who am I kidding? I'm not going to exercise. I'm too lazy, and I live far away from places where I'd like to exercise. I figure I'll get plenty of exercise when I either get into medical school, thus making me a student with free gym membership...or move out of Alabama to a place that is hopefully very walkable and has great public transportation. So I'll hold off on that resolution because who am I kidding?

5. I resolve to read more. I love reading. But I also love cable. After having only 4 channels for so long, it's tough to not get into my new cable routine. 2 episodes of Scrubs right after work...break for dinner...then depending on the night I could be watching Medium, House, 30 Rock, The Office, Colbert Report, or the Daily Show. I figure that's okay since I don't really watch MTV anymore. Not sitting through hours of Real World and Road Rules, or that evil hybrid show I used to love means that I'm growing up. Right? Anyway, more reading. I got "Heat" for Christmas and I'm loving it. Of course, it really has only succeeded in making me both hungry for pasta, and determined to dine at Babbo.

So only five resolutions. I'm sure there are many more I need to make, but last year I resolved to be less critical of myself. So I think I'm pretty okay. :-p

Welcome to 2007, everybody. It's gonna kick ass.