Deep in the Heart of Texas

Alright boys and girls, I am leaving in a few hours for Texas. I've never been west of Alabama, so this promises to be exciting. Going home with C and then flying back on Friday to go to my parents' house for Christmas. WOO! So, I'll write when I get back on. Until then, if you're one of the lucky few with my phone number, feel free to call. If not, I'll be back Friday :) Laters!

Dispatches from the Choir

Last we checked in, the choir was drinking beer and eating brats.

Today's episode: really old men acting like children.

Okay, by really old men, I mean literally...72- and 92-year-old men. So let me give you some backstory. The 72-year-old was recently absent from choir for a while because he fell off a ladder and broke several ribs and his pelvis. He returned to the choir two weeks ago, but is still recovering. The 92-year-old is really funny and active. You would never in a million years guess that he's 92. Let's call the 72-year-old Poor Guy and the 92-year-old Obnoxious Guy. You'll see why in a minute. Today, Poor Guy is wearing a suit, complete with red Santa Claus and reindeer socks and suspenders. He was also sporting a grey beard. Obnoxious Guy is short, and already had his choir robes on when I got there. Aaannnddd, scene:

Obnoxious Guy: You look snazzy today!
Poor Guy: Thanks!
Obnoxious Guy: I really like the suspenders. Know why?
Poor Guy: No, why?
Obnoxious Guy: Grabs suspender, pulls it away from Poor Guy's chest, and lets go. Because you can do that! hahaha!
Poor Guy: Ow! laughing slightly
Every Female in the Room: OH MY GOD STOP DOING THAT HE HAS BROKEN RIBS!
Obnoxious Guy: Oh, sorry about that. Is it better on the other side? Proceeds to snap the suspender on the other side. Hahaha!
Poor Guy: Ow! laughing hard now
Obnoxious Guy: I was just messin' with ya. I like the beard too, Santa Claus. slaps Poor Guy on the back
Poor Guy: Oh my God stop hitting me! Choir abuse!!
Every Female in the Room: LEAVE HIM ALONE!! in our minds: ...You psychotic old man

So, I guess it wasn't all that pleasant for Poor Guy, but it was hilarious to watch this old man snap the other guy's suspenders. Like a 6 year old. And then point and laugh when he recoiled in pain.

I sing with a bunch of psychopaths. Laters!

Dodgeball: The Bitter End

It was the play-offs tonight people. Koro versus The Mighty Mitos (worst team-name ever.) Also known as "Napoleon's team." We hate these people. They are the kind of team that wear matching jerseys and headbands, have 20 players but always have the same line-up because they know who the best throwers are, and will try to point out every bit of minutiae from the rules to try to get you out. My team, on the other hand, includes a girl that wears manjamas, a line-up where everyone plays at least once, and a lot of name-calling. We're a rag-tag bunch but we have a lot of fun. So tonight, everyone was there. Including our captain who is a 7-foot tall Iranian-American doctor. Every other night has just been fun, whatever. But tonight we were serious. Not because we wanted to win, but because we wanted to thrash the hell out of this team. We really hate them.

Normally you just play for 40 minutes, but tonight it was best of 5 games. We started playing and the score was 4 to 0. Things did not look good. And then our captain, K, decided to change our strategy. No longer were we going to try to win the game. Rather, we would all try to kill Napoleon. Because such is our hatred. And damn, that was a good strategy. We won the next four games. And tied up the play-off. All through these games we're yelling and screaming and trying our best to intimidate. But the best part was the coaching from K. He was on the sidelines yelling, "Hit that short little Napoleon kid in the blue knee socks!" or "Smack Frankenstein! You can't miss that kid, he's huge!" and best of all "Ignore that little girl that can't throw. You can take her ass out last!" At one point the other team is yelling that my teammates aren't staying in bounds (they were completely right)...our captain just yells "What are you afraid of??!!?"

We're a classy bunch. Very sportsman-like. We ended up losing our final game, so dodgeball season is over. But the important thing is that we went out with dignity. And that we slashed their tires.*

___________
*No, not really. Although it was discussed at length.

Office Christmas Party

I only work at my job part-time...specifically only on weekends. But I've been there for almost 4 years now. Everyone knows me...la la la. So last year, they had the office Christmas party. And apparently it was awesome. Everyone danced, everyone was drunk, my favorite co-worker took over the DJ position and they basically just rocked the Casbah. So, when I heard about this party last year in passing and realized that I HAD NOT BEEN INVITED despite working there for a really long time and being everyone's favorite per-diem employeee, I was pissed. So for the past year, everytime a Christmas party is mentioned I am sure to follow it up with "Oh, that awesome Christmas party to which I received no invitation? That one? Yeah." So, I'm pretty sure that it is because of me that all the per-diem employees were invited this year. :) Muahahaha. The problem is that I worked literally all night Sunday, had to wake up yesterday to take an exam, and then went back to bed. I was so tired, I had absolutely NO desire to attend the Christmas party. But since I've been pitching a fit about it for the past year, I decided to drag my ass out of bed and go. (Bad Idea #1.)

I get there, and none of my favorite people are there. One of them was deployed to Iraq, so I knew he wouldn't be there. B wasn't going to be there because his wife just had a baby 2 days ago. And my other favorite didn't show up because he, like me, was exhausted from last night so just didn't drag his ass out of bed. Also, the cute boy I work with didn't show up because he lives an hour away and didn't want to drive. Therefore, it is me, and everyone that works full-time in the office. And they're all 40 and up. Honestly. They all have children that are older than me. I should have said hello, eaten some free food, and left. But who am I to pass up dancing and an open bar?

So, I go to the bar and order a margarita. And the bartender immediately opens with "You weren't here last year, were you?" And I say, "No, they didn't invite me." And he said, "Oh, I didn't think so because I know I would have remembered you." And that's when I knew it was going to be a long night of bartender-dodging. Because the bartender was a stocky balding man. No younger than 30. The DJ was a 50 year old man in slacks and a tie. He was HORRIBLE. Nevertheless, people started to dance. And that was Bad Idea #2. I should NEVER have started dancing. Because unlike my coworkers, who just look like they're joking and dancing around crazily, I really can dance. Which means that I attracted a lot of attention. Which in my situation is a bad thing. Because people started to watch me when I was dancing sober. They continued watching when I danced drunk. Ohhh so bad.

We started with the electric slide, lovely, tame, I'm still sober. Then I finish my margarita and I go back to the bar. I ask the bartender what he would suggest. "Trust me." And then he hands me this delicious fruity concoction. I didn't know what it was, but I saw him pour Grey Goose into the glass so it was some good stuff. I asked him what it was and he wouldn't tell me. I shrugged and said "OK" and wandered off to dance. I'm sure he was hoping that would be a bridge to me begging him to tell me what it was or something. But I didn't care enough for all that. Then I got another what turned out to be "Sex on the Beach." Then we did the cha-cha slide. Which is where the bad part started. To this point, I'd been keeping my dancing quite tame. There was no vertical motion...only horizontal. This was quite intentional because I knew the head of the organization and a lot of surgeons were sitting at the tables watching us dance. So I was just trying to blend with the goofy dancers. But then the cha-cha slide came on. And I just did what the guy said! "How low can you go? Can you get down low? All the way to the floor?" And I answered honestly. "Yes. Yes I can." And I did. And immediately I was the center of wide-eyed attention. Sooo bad.

By the end of the night, I had a lot more to drink. Asked the bartender to dance. Danced all up on my other really drunk co-worker. Made the following announcement over the DJ's microphone: I AM HAVING A GOOD TIME! WOO! Learned how to work a turntable...and promptly forgot. Tried to drag the head of the organization onto the dance flooor (unsuccessfully) and was subsequently asked by him if I was okay to drive home. Soo not good. I was leaving and the bartender grabbed my hand. I said "Maybe I'll see you next year." And he replied with "Hopefully before then." And I said, "Yeah....keep hoping." And left. I didn't wake up until 11 this morning...and I could really go back to bed.

Oh, and guess what's tonight? The Dodgeball Play-Offs. I can't remember if I told you guys, but my God-awful team made it to the play-offs! WOO! We're playing Napoleon's team at 8 tonight. Fingers crossed everyone :) Laters.

Thanksgiving at my house

Yup. I think that about sums it up. :)