World Cup 2006

I have never been an avid sports fan. I have always enjoyed going to baseball games...my father used to take me to Dodgers games when I was little, and Cubs games when I lived in Chicago. I like to watch baseball, but only in the moment. I don't keep up with it...I don't remember scores...I barely remember players. I don't even bother to read those little trivia questions that pop up because I know I won't know the answer.

I don't like football. I don't mind going to football games. I understand the premise and scoring and all that jazz...but I don't care for it at all. It involves a lot of falling down. Stand in a line, blow the whistle, bam. Everyone falls down. It is the slowest, most boring sport. Can't stand it. Also, I went to highschool in rural Alabama where life = football, and I spent much of my college dorm-life being harassed by football players. And I don't mean catcalls-in-the-hallways harassed...I mean trying-to-come-through-the-wall-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-urinating-on-the-door-when-they-didn't-make-it-through harassment. That probably didn't help my opinion of the sport.

Basketball. Honestly, any game where you're scoring over 100 points is not a game. Unless it's Jeopardy. That's just ridiculous. Scoring loses all meaning. Stupid basketball.

And then in 1998, I found my sport. Not a sport that I'd play, but a sport that I thought was exciting, and athletic, and elegant. I discovered soccer. Soccer games are non-stop. Constantly running up and down the field, constantly losing possession of the ball, yellow cards, red cards, corner kicks, brilliant saves. I couldn't stop. I was completely addicted. During the World Cup in France, I volunteered to fold laundry the whole month just so I could sequester myself in my parents bedroom with the television. It was AWESOME. Soccer players aren't some giant juiced-up guys, they're not all seven-feet-tall, they're not even famous in this country. (Mainly cause American soccer blows.) They're just athletes. Amazing athletes.

I know when baseball players win the World Series, they get all choked up and cry. I know when those giant dudes win the Superbowl and get that ugly-ass ring they get a little teary. And I know when basketball players win whatever it is they win, they're probably happy too. But when a team wins the World Cup...it's like winning the Olympics. They don't win for themselves, they win for their country. And it is out of control. When France won in '98, I would've given anything to be there. They were so excited and proud and you could see it in the eyes of everyone there. Those guys were national heroes.

I don't know why America doesn't like soccer. Maybe it's not brutal enough. Maybe there isn't enough scoring. Maybe we dont want to support a sport in which we don't excel. I'd argue there is no good reason. Sure, they aren't scoring 100 goals in a game, but man. When you've waited 80 minutes to see someone score and they finally do. It's exciting. It's really exciting. And maybe American soccer sucks, but that's because no one supports it. We have amazing soccer players...but we lose them to other countries. Landon Donovan- gone, Casey Keller- gone, really I shouldn't get started on this. Sure, they'll come back and play on the US World Cup team, but how many Americans are kickin' it over to Germany for that? (I wish I could.)

So, I think that everyone should give soccer a chance. Or a second chance if you've already tried to watch it. The 2006 World Cup starts June 9th. Here's a link to the TV schedule for all the games being aired in the US. Thank GOD I finally got cable. I'll be watching. I think you guys should too. It's fast-paced, it's exciting, and at the end of the match the boys take their shirts off. Really, what's not to love?

Zydeco

Scene: I'm in the command center...which is a large room off the main entrance at my office. The room has lots of glass windows so you can see people that walk in and is pretty much where all the action takes place. (So basically, it's the room you avoid if you don't feel like working.) One of the other female coordinators (R) and I are sitting in the command center fielding calls and the receptionist intercoms in and says there's someone out at the desk that wants to meet us. Oftentimes recipients will come into the office and ask to meet us and thank us. So, we assumed this guy was a recipient. We were soo soo wrong.

Crazy Guy: Hi, I'm Joe.
R: I'm R, I'm a coordinator.
Me: Samantha, also a coordinator.
dude has the clammiest. handshake. ever.
CG: Well, I just applied for a job here and wanted to come over and get some face time.
Me: Really? What did you apply for?
we have no openings.
CG: Preservation job.
R: Oh, so you'll actually be over in the lab.
CG: Really? What would I actually be doing?

So R launches into a description of what he'd be doing..blah blah blah. I'm looking for a way to kind of wander off since I'm not talking anyway, but the dude is totally staring at me. R's talking, but he's looking at me. So I'm just looking around the room.

CG: What were your names again?
R: R.
Me: I'm Samantha
CG: That's a beautiful name...oh, R is too.
Me: Thanks
oh my god why is he still staring at me.
R: Well, sorry there's no one else here to talk to. Everyone's at the beach til tomorrow.
hint, hint...leave
CG: I just got back from the beach! I was at a crawfish boil/zydeco party. Have you ever zydecoed?
again, staring straight at me.
Me: Um, no?
CG: Oh, it's a ton of fun. I'll have to teach you sometime.
Me: ---
CG: Trust me, it's the most fun you can have standing up.
did he just make a sexual joke within 5 minutes of meeting me??!
And then he winks at me.
oh my god did he just wink at me?!??
Me: Okay, well it was nice to meet you.

R and I meet back up in the command center a minute later and everyone's coming in there asking who the random guy was. I ask what zydeco dancing is. I'm informed it's a pretty intimate dance...one coworker described it as "the kind of dance that will shine your beltbuckle."

Aaand I just threw up in my mouth a little. Creepy 40 year old men. Ugh.

Reading

Alligators apparently killed three Americans this week. One victim died while snorkeling, but in the case of a Florida jogger, "A medical examiner concluded that the 28-year-old woman was attacked near the canal bank and dragged into the water." One killer gator, already captured, is 9½ feet long; another, at large, is estimated at nearly 8 feet. Explanation for the attacks: As it gets warmer, gators get hungry and mobilize to find prey.

Official reactions: 1) Don't worry, gators killed only 17 people in 58 years until this week. 2) One of this week's victims may have been using drugs. 3) We'll catch the killers. 4) You can avoid attacks by staying out of water in "heavily vegetated areas" and not walking your dog near water in darker hours.

Unofficial reaction: Land shark!

This is going to be awesome

I'd recommend reading the book first though. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. You will never eat McDonald's again (if watching "SuperSize Me" didn't already stop that lunacy.)

Armageddon

I stayed up to watch Armageddon on one of my shiny new cable channels. I haven't seen it in forever, they were singing "leavin' on a jet plane", I couldn't resist. So, it's very close to the end, and I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye...or maybe it was the top of my eye. I don't know. Regardless, I look, and there is a HUGE COCKROACH ON THE CEILING. I mean HUGE. So I immediately freak, run to get the Raid, and to grab something to put over my head. I don't deal well with insects that crunch. And I really don't do well with insects that fly. So I get the broom, the can of Raid, and put a coat over my head (I think my biggest fear is that the bug will land on my head, get lost in my hair, and I won't be able to find the thing for a week.)

That's right....Samantha is in the living room, the television's playing Armageddon, and I am trying to sneak up on a roach with a broom in one hand, a can of Raid in the other, and a fleece jacket over my head. I'm sure it would have been amusing to observe. So, I knock him off the ceiling with the broom (thank GOD he didn't fly.) He falls onto the carpet, I spray him repeatedly with Raid, and he crawls into a hole in the corner. He might be living under my carpet. I don't know, but I don't want to think about it. So I spray the perimeter of the room with Raid and sit back down to finish watching the movie. Bruce Willis disconnects Ben Affleck's oxygen supply, shoves him in the shuttle, and commences with his goodbyes. I commence with the waterworks. I wipe my tears away with my hands.

And get Raid in my eyes.

Stupid bug.

Carpe Diem

It's only 11 AM and I've already:

• Fallen down the stairs at my apartment complex.
• Seen a one-armed man drive a motorcycle down the street.
• Watched a carload of old people go 4 blocks down a one-way street...in the wrong direction. Much honking and yelling ensued before they finally pulled into a parking lot completely oblivious to the cars they were just playing chicken with.
• Listened to most of the catalogue of our city's classic rock station because my co-worker has turned on the boombox in our office. I was also forced to endure a couple hours of Rick 'n Bubba, but I'm choosing to block that experience from my memory.

I am so ready for lunch.

You Don't Know Me...

I went to a "viewing" tonight. I'm not sure if that's what everyone calls it, but it's that thing where everyone goes and sees a person lying in a casket and comments on how good he/she looks. Honestly, when will a dead person ever look "good"? But that's beside the point. It was the viewing of my coworker's father-in-law. I'm very close friends with this co-worker so I thought it'd be nice if I went. I had never met the decedent, but I knew of him, and I know my co-worker's wife whose father had passed. She's a nurse and her father died of cancer, so I'm sure the whole thing was very hard on her.

I don't go to many funerals or viewings. I've been very lucky not to have lost many people in my family, and the ones I have lost I haven't been very close to. And maybe it's just the job that I do, but the whole death thing really doesn't seem to bother me very much. I'm pretty indifferent to it. I've never seen the need for viewings...kind of thought it was strange to stand around and compliment the dead. But tonight I really warmed to the concept.

I was sitting in the chapel, feeling like a complete sore thumb in this crowd. I only knew my coworker and his wife, and this is a large African American family. I'd been sitting there for maybe 20 minutes when in walked this old white man...probably in his mid-70's. And people are looking at him as he walks in, and one of the deceased's daughters (who was super-friendly) walks up to the man.

Daughter: "Hi, my name is G. I'm M's daughter. Thank you for coming."
Old man: "Hello dear. You don't know me, but I knew your father. We worked together at the Coca-Cola bottling plant years ago. Your father was there much much longer than I was...I was only there 17 years and he was there 47, but I heard that he had passed and I wanted to come and tell you how much I respected him. He was a decent man and a hell of a guy to work with. He made the day go quicker. I just wanted to tell you that."
Daughter: "He did love Coke. And we have the pictures to prove it. Come here and let me show you."

And with that, the old man and this young black woman walk up to these easels full of pictures that are set up at the front of the chapel. And you can see the daughter pointing to the pictures that involve Coke. And you can see the old man smiling. And I realized, that is what viewings are for. You've lost someone you loved very much, but at that time when you're in a very low place, people come out of the woodwork and give you something to hold onto. Several more people ended up coming to the viewing before I left, introducing themselves as people whose lives had been touched by Mr. M. And the family didn't know them, but they brought them in and welcomed them and listened to their stories and probably loved Mr. M more for the person they didn't even know he was.

I cried at the viewing today, and I didn't even know Mr. M. But from the stories of his family and friends, and even acquaintances...

I bet he was amazing.

Online

I now have the internet back in my apartment. Apparently I had it all along and just didn't realize because I didn't try to hook up the modem. So, woo! Back to iTunes and all that jazz.

Last night we went out for Carolyn's graduation. We went to dinner at a place called Cocina Superior which is right next door to a couple of very expensive restaurants. So, of course, I arrive in some capri pants, tank top, and flip flops. Luckily, the place was not a very expensive place at all. It looked fancy, but it wasn't. Awesome food...I had fish tacos (tilapia..mmmm.) Really horrible margaritas. I'm hard-pressed to find a margarita I won't drink. And last night I found one.

So, we went to Innisfree afterward for the law school party. I don't know if it was because I was sober or because law school people are boring, but sweet jesus. Law school people seem really boring. Luckily my coworker E (one that I really like) was at the bar with her boyfriend. She was druuuunk, and hilarious. She's the only other person at work that's my age. So we try to stick together.

At one point she walks over to C and I at the bar:
E: "Oh my God you guys, those girls with the bachelorette party are total bitches!"
C: "What did they say to you?!?"
E: "I was trying to get past them to get to the bathroom and one of them was like asking me what I had to say to them! I told them I had to go to the bathroom and what I had to say was that she was a bitch and God help the man that's marrying her!"
At this point, C (who has absolutely no attention span due to her lack of sobriety) leans behind E and grabs this guy by the shirt so he can reach the bar. C asks him what he's doing there (I guess she knew him. Hopefully she did. Since she was grabbing him.)
Random guy: "I'm here with my fiance."
E: "OH! I'm so sorry! But she was being a bitch! But I'm sure you two will be very happy together. Congratulations!"
The voice in my head: hahahahahahhahahahahaha

The other highlight of the evening was Carolyn. And her drunkenness. And her concern about alcohol poisoning.

She probably asked me about 10 times over the course of the night:
C: "Samantha, am I going to get alcohol poisoning?"
Me: "No dear."
C: Perkily "Okay!"

She had 6 shots. In pretty rapid succession. And she's little. Really little. I suppose I was being a bad friend. When your tiny friend has had 5 shots, is holding a sixth, looks at you with trust in her eyes and asks "Samantha, should I drink this?" As a good friend who has a little medical background and a lot of firsthand drinking experience, I should have said "no." Instead I counter with, "Hell yes you should drink it! The man just handed you a shot! Geez Carolyn!" And the second after she drank it, I knew instantly that was it for her. She was siiiick. She did not look good. I was really hoping to see Carolyn crazy drunk. But Carolyn drunk is really pretty much the same as Carolyn sober, with more memory lapses and less attention span. Still, it was good. She's always my designated driver, so I was glad to finally return the favor. Although I probably owe her about 25 more nights like last night to even start to let her catch up. Man.

So, C spent the night on my couch with a trashcan by her side and her monster dog slept out on the balcony. This morning we went to breakfast at Pancake House (woo potato pancakes!) and now I'm sitting around enjoying my day off, with my newly restored internet, and I'm contemplating shopping. I need some stuff for the new apartment. Like a lamp. So I can see at night by something other than the glow of my GIANT TELEVISION. Hahaha. Okay, I'm out. Laters!

Update

So I got a new office. Which means that I might start blogging from work. Exciting stuff huh? :)

Many new and exciting things. So, a list!

1. Finally found a new apartment. Woo!! My new place is massive. (At least compared to the 50 square feet of space I'd been living in for the past two years.) It has a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, 1 and a half bathrooms, a laundry room, and a balcony. I don't know what to do with all the space. Possibly fill it with furniture. As it is now, my dining room table is the cart that the television used to sit on. Which brings me to my next item.

2. I bought a new television. The new television is about twice the size of my old television. 24 inches babay..woo! AND MY NEW PLACE INCLUDES CABLE. I haven't had cable in 3 years. I was initially really excited about the cable, but it's going to take some adjustment. It's strange to hit the remote and have new channels continuously pop up. Before it was 4 channels and then mucho static. It's great.

3. I got my car fixed. This is a less exciting item on the list. Not because I didn't need the a/c...I did. The problem was the way in which it was done. As reported in my last post, I got a ridiculous estimate for car repair from the Goodyear place here in Birmingham. So, when I went to my parents house the other day, Dad said "I'll just run it up to the dealership in town and see what they have to say." He said that it would be much cheaper for them to take care of everything. So, he went up there, got an estimate, and sure enough the estimate was about $200 cheaper than here in Birmingham to get the a/c and the radiator fixed. So, I left the car with him and borrowed my mother's company car to get back to Birmingham. The next day my father calls to tell me the car is finished and ready to be picked up. He has the invoice ready for me. The Goodyear place quoted me about $750 for the fix, the hometown place quoted $530. Dad called and said my bill was $975. WTF. "Oh, they had to fix this and this and this and this." Uh huh. So, my Dad got suckered and I'm paying the bill. Damn it.

4. Tom came to visit. He was actually on the plane when I found my new apartment, and I signed the lease right before going to pick him up. So, poooor Tom had to help me move. And he had to put up with my Dad being pretty impolite to him. It was a pretty roller-coaster visit for him I'd have to guess. He had to help me move, but the next night we went to two concerts. We saw Sister Hazel, Gin Blossoms, Cowboy Mouth, and a local band called Lynam all in one night. It was great. Then the next day he had to sit through my friend Steven's graduation (snore) but we went to a graduation party that night and then watched "The Ring" (TERRIFYING.) Sunday we watched MI:3 which was actually really really good despite Tom Cr-azay starring in it and then bought my big new TV and some movies. Monday we went to Atlanta and saw the "Bodies" exhibit which was pretty cool (although if you can see "BodyWorlds" instead, definitely opt for it....way more bodies...really cool.) We came back by way of the longest route back from Atlanta ever and stopped at my parents house. My little sisters "love" Tom and my Mom seemed to think he was nice. Dad was still not happy, but I've kind of decided to not worry about it. Cause he's being a pain in the neck. Tuesday we didn't do much. Took Tom back to the airport. And then his stupid flight got delayed by the weather, he missed his connecting flight, and he had to spend the night in Baltimore. Instead of an extra night in Birmingham. (Dear Southwest, I retract my love for you. You suck.)

So now, I'm in my new apartment. Things are almost all unpacked. It seems really empty.

Tonight, going out with C. Because today, she finished law school. God knows she deserves to get drunk as hell tonight. And I will be her enabler. It's going to be good times :) Laters!

I'm having a pity party. Join me.

Could today have been more stressful? Doubtful. Very doubtful.

We start with the morning meeting. We went over all the cases that we didn't receive consent on. I got a no last Friday, so we went over my case. Along with a bunch of others. Everyone else's cases received a "Well, you did all you could. All we can do is try." I tell my story, and everyone has suggestions for what I could have done differently. Which is fine. But it doesn't make you feel good when you think that it's possible that someone else could have done a better job and gotten some people transplanted. It's not a good feeling at all.

Then I decided to take my car to get the air conditioning fixed. Because it's going to be in the 80's this week and I have no a/c. So, I take it in for an oil change and freon (sp?) recharge. Guy gives me an estimate of $150. I thought it was steep, but my car never has problems so the least I can do is buy it some expensive freon. Fine. 2 hours later my phone rings.

Money-Stealing-Guy: "Ma'am? We've just run some tests and you've got a couple of other problems."
Shocking.
Me: "Uh huh. What's wrong with it?"
MSG: "Well, you've got a couple of o-rings that are leaking."
Me: "Is that why my a/c is broken?"
MSG: "Probably."
I like the confidence. Jackass.
Me: "OK, so what's the estimate now?"
MSG: "About $250."
Me: "Um, ok."
MSG: "Also, you need a new radiator."
Fuuuuuuck.
Me: "Huh??"
MSG: "Your radiator's broken. We need to replace it."
Me: "Uh huh. What's the estimate now?"
MSG: "About $750."
Me: "Uh huh. Okay, don't touch my car. I'll call you back."

So, I get off the phone with him and ask one of my coworkers if I'm being screwed. Which, of course, I am. Because when I walk into a car repair place, they see a girl who knows nothing about cars and has Daddy's credit card. The problem is that only half of that sentence is true. So my co-worker called them back for me, told them not to worry about the radiator and to just get the a/c up and running for me. Apparently the guy had quite a 'tude with Brett. Which I'm not surprised about at all. I'd be pissed if I lost a quick $500 too. Bastards. I told them I'd be there to pick the car up at 4:30. They said fine.

About an hour later, the phone rings again. It's the people that own my apartment. I think maybe they're responding to the voicemail I left 4 DAYS AGO regarding availability in any of their other rental properties. Oh no. That's not why they're calling. They're calling to ask why I haven't turned in my keys. I told them I thought my lease was up May 17th since that's when I moved in 2 years ago. Yeah. Not so much. Apparently they wised up to the fact that I haven't actually signed a lease for this past year, and they've just been letting me slide on a month-to-month basis. But, that last month ended April 28th. So, apparently I was supposed to be out 4 days ago. Mmhmm. That's right. Not only do I have the incessant hammering and no cold water. Now my apartment people are actually trying to evict me. So, the apartment hunt went to a whole new level. I made an appointment to see an apartment at a complex that one of my coworkers lives in at 4:30.

So, I call the car place back to see if my car's ready.
Me: "Hi, I'm calling about the S10. Is it ready?"
MSG: "When do you need it by?"
Me: "I need it by now. I need my car to get home."
MSG: "Whoa, whoa. Calm down. You can have your car, but we haven't done anything to it."
Did he just tell me to calm down?
Me: "So you didn't do anything with it, and it's fine to drive?"
MSG: "Well, we tested it. But you can take it. Can you bring it back in tomorrow?"
Bring it back!??? Are you kidding?!?
Me: "Oh yeah. Not a problem. I'll be there in a few minutes."
MSG: "Okay."

So I get there and he hands me the key and doesn't charge me for the test, I assume because he thinks I'll pay for it when I come back tomorrow...or as I refer to it, when hell freezes over. So got the car, went and looked at a nice apartment that was a million miles away, a crappy apartment that was really close by, and called about a million places that will probably never call me back because that is my luck.

And now I'm back in my apartment. And it's not a nice apartment. But it's home. And I wish I didn't have to move. This sucks.