Mirage

I'm beginning to wonder whether my last post was a result of marijuana floating through the air ducts. I know that quite a few of my neighbors smoke pot, and I'm forced to breathe their recycled air because I live in a converted 70's Holiday Inn. I'm beginning to wonder whether it happened at all. I have neither seen, nor heard from Brittain for going on 4 days. I have called his house and they've said he was not home. Did they mean not home as in "he's out for a drive" or not home as in "he's on a distant continent." My sister educated me on the fact that mirages are not actually products of our imagination, but rather things that actually exist but may be rather far away. Maybe there was a lot of hot air trapped outside my door Thursday night and I could see to China. If I was a betting lady, I'd probably stick with the Mary Jane though. Anyway...just thought I'd update.

Figures.

Of course I get sick on the one day of the week that I actually have something to do at work. I don't feel well at all, but I have to go do Meatless Monday stuff, class, work, and then another class. I won't get home til 7:30 tonight. Uuuuuggghhh. So cold and hacking up a lung. Oh well...have to get ready.

Holy God.

I don't know whether Jesus hates me, or he loves me, but wow...this was all him. Either the next 3 weeks are going to be absolute heaven, or hell all over again. I'm hoping for the former. I was sitting on the floor listening in on my conference call. I didn't say a word throughout the conference call. Then someone knocks on my door. I thought it was my el-creepo neighbor. I'm still on the phone, I look through the blinds, and there he stands. Brittain. I really think I literally had a stroke. I told the 30 people on the conference call that I'd call them back. They all think I'm nuts now. It's pretty funny in retrospect. As I was hanging up, I could hear them going, "Huh?" Then, my knees went out from under me. By the time I had the door open, Brittain was wondering what had happened to me. I basically attacked him. I jumped on him and hugged him and screamed and accidentally cussed at him. Not in a mean way, more in an incredulous still having a heart attack kind of way. I think I had a 3 hour long stroke. He's on vacation for 3 weeks before heading back to China. We had a great time. I just don't know what to do. It's going to either be a lot of fun, or it's going to be like the last 3 weeks he was here before he left. I don't want to go through that again...although it's kind of worth it to see him again. I called C and she told me that I really need to get over it cause he's really "not that into me." She's probably right. The problem is that I'm "that into him." It may be a one-way street, but I'm having a hard time with the U-turn. I'll keep everyone posted. I actually just wanted to write this in case it was all a dream...I wanted to have proof I wasn't nuts. I'm going to realize I have a serious problem if this is a dream. I'm going to shower and bed...I wouldn't mind another dream like this. Laters!

Mission Accomplished

I am no longer the victim of a flat-tire. Now I'm a victim of poor tire fashion. I hate when you have a spare on and your tires are all mis-matched and ghetto-fied. On the bright side though, I finished with time to spare before my 8 PM conference call on the Global AIDS Week of Action. It never ends folks. Luckily, I have time for a snack. You would not believe how delicious these Morningstar Farms Vegetarian "Chicken Nuggets" are. I got the Honey Mustard variety. I mean, DEEElicious. Tomorrow's Friday...YAYYYY!!! Laters!

Ahhh, manual labor

There's nothing better to top off your day of work, class, meetings, not getting to hang out with your Dad and sister who came to town, and more meetings like a nice flat tire. I'm actually looking forward to getting out there with the jack and taking out some aggression. Damn roofing nails. Damn them all to hell. (Except the ones supporting roofs...they better stay where they are for the moment.)

Sometimes I love television

It is so nice to turn your brain off for a little while and just enjoy the ride, and the ride is much more enjoyable on the WB. I watched Clark Kent get married on Smallville. 6'3. That's all I have to say. I love that show. That boy can't keep his shirt on to save his soul, and God bless him for it.

Then I watched "Jack & Bobby" which is actually a fabulous show. The whole premise is really interesting to me. It's a show about two brothers and their single mother who is a college professor. The interesting part is that you know that the younger brother is going to grow up to be President of the US in 2040 or sometime near then. The show has the normal story, but then there are also little flashes from the future where people from his staff tell stories about things that have happened during his administration. Of course, the little flash-in stories kind of tie back to show that he's learning a lesson from what's happening in his life right now, and in the future will use the knowledge he's gained. It's a really witty show...I think that's why I like the WB. Granted, they have some crappy trashy teeny bopper shows, but they have more than their fair share of intelligent shows. Yay them. Well, I'm heading to bed...g'night!

Warning: Political Rant

No matter what side of the political fence you fall on, do you really think we should still be hanging out in Iraq? Not when more and more of our people are dying everyday. This is like Vietnam, the sequel, without the rice. You can't win trying to help people who don't want your help. We did the big thing- getting rid of Saddam. So now, get out of it and let them figure out who they want to lead and all that jazz.

31 marines died in a helicopter crash in Iraq yesterday. 31 people. I had 31 people in a lot of my classes in elementary school. Think about it this way, if someone wiped out an entire elementary school class, would we be sitting here on our haunches? Probably not. And I know it's different. Trust me. I'm a military brat. I know that they volunteered to serve and all that jazz. However, they volunteered to serve. Not to die. And going over there at this point, is in many cases a death sentence. Who are they serving? Not the Americans. We found no WMDs, Saddam's gone, we're not taking their oil, so who are our soldiers serving? The Iraqis? No doubt they need help rebuilding, but if they don't want our help, we shouldn't be forcing ourselves on them.

Those soldiers used to be in elementary school. Most of them probably aren't that far out...there are a lot of teenagers in this war. I went to highschool with quite a few. I'm sure their mothers still look at them like those children they reluctantly sent off to kindergarten. I'm proud of those soldiers going off and fighting because they have the courage and honor to follow the oath that they made when they joined the service. But I'm ashamed of our government for continuing to send them there.

She did a lot of Whip-Its

Yesterday afternoon my friend C called with a plea for help. She's in law school and apparently they have this class where they have to practice doing jury selection and part of their grade was dependent upon them bringing someone to be in the fake jury. And in steps Samantha. I came as her little jury guinea-pig. It was a lonnnggg class- I was there about 2.5 hours (from 6-8:30 PM) which you know is on the brink of messing with my old lady bedtime. But it was good to break with routine. It was so much fun though.

There were several guys on the jury that were an absolute trip. They picked names like "Hi, I'm Henry Ford," Eddie Bauer, etc. I didn't know what I was doing so I just pretended to be myself except I said I was a professor instead of a student. I was so tired...I wasn't funny at all. I was kind of disappointed with myself. If I'd been awake, I'd have been right there in the fray. Oh well though. So one of the cases had to do with insurance fraud. So the lawyer asked us if any of us had a poor past experience with an insurance company. The guy a couple seats over from me proceeds to raise his hand and describe an incident where a deer ran into the side of his car, and since it was the side, you should be able to tell that he didn't hit it, it hit him, etc. But the insurance paid for it. They didn't pay for it when the exact same thing happened again about a month later. We were all dying laughing. The odds of a deer running into your car twice are pretty low. (I found out later that was a true story.)

The next absolutely hilarious incident was when they asked us about domestic violence. I said that my roommate had been a domestic violence counselor and would tell me stories about it. They asked if it was all male on female violence. I said yes. So the guy next to me proceeds to raise his hand (keep in mind that he is playing a 60 year old man named Eddie Bauer) and describe how his mom used to beat his dad all the time. Particularly when she was strung out on Whip-Its. She would go through 10-20 cans of "Reddi-Whip" a night. He also reminded us that, "That's a lot of whipped cream." And he was kind of cracking his voice and pretending to be really upset. It was HI-larious. There were other funny things such as the guy that was doing a fake accent that made him sound like Goober from Andy Griffith. Overall it was a lot of fun, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Now I should probably get ready for school. Laters!

Why I like public health

I was sitting in class tonight and realized why I love public health. We have so many people with accents. I was sitting there listening to my professor, from northern Cameroon, and it didn't matter what he said. I was completely transfixed. In the past two years, I've had professors from China, Jamaica, Great Brittain, India, and various areas of the United States. It's the most diverse group of students and faculty. It's fabulous, but it makes me sooo jealous. I need a cool accent. I'll work on it later. G'nite!

If it's not one thing....

I want to add some songs from a CD onto my iPod. Do you think that I can hit the eject button and get my computer's CD drive to open? No. Of course not. Rather, it would prefer that I continuously press the button to no avail while it chuckles at me in private delight. I'm going to kick my CPU...first the floppy drive, now the CD drive...I'm sure the DVD-rom is sure to follow. Stupid technology.

Unemployment

A couple days of the week, I don't have to be at school until 11 AM and then work after that. So, I get a couple of precious hours to work in the apartment in the morning. Everytime this happens, I realize how much I wish I didn't have my job. It just makes me remember all that time last year when I only worked on the weekends and everyday I'd come home from school and have nothing to do except schoolwork and watching the Simpsons. If I didn't have bills, I'd think unemployment was pretty sweet. Oh well, I'd better go get ready for another day of employment and school. Blah. Laters!

I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Wow. I am pathetic, but I can't hold my head up any longer. I am so incredibly tired, and since my sentences are no longer making much sense, the utility of my consciousness is greatly diminished. So, goodnight! I'll have to wake up at the crack of dawn and get some stuff done. Probably talk to you then- you know how much I love to complain first thing in the morning. ;)

There it is!!

I have been missing my "Live" CD by Our Lady Peace since June. I just found it when I cleaned off the top of my desk. That is SOOOOOO sad. But happy, since I found my CD. Yay for that I suppose. I just got back...I went on PHSA retreat Friday night, then I went to my parents' house for the rest of the weekend. Basically I came back to my apartment from the retreat, realized I had an ungodly amount of work to do, and decided to go home to escape it. Of course, now that I'm back and I know I have a full day tomorrow, a meeting with the Deans that I haven't prepared for on Tuesday morning, and presentations to classes tomorrow and Tuesday, life is looking a little less cheery. I realized why I love going home so much...aside from the obvious fact that my family is a complete trip. Going home is like going back in time. The radio stations in central Alabama play pop music that was popular back when I was in high school, I get home and everyone's there, acting just like they always have, and it's like I never left. (Sometimes I feel like everything's different, but this weekend it felt completely like home.) I wish I could've stayed and shirked my responsibilities a bit longer. Ugh. Well, best hop to it. Laters!

Gone Retreatin'

Simpson's Moment of the Day:

Bart with Cockney Accent: "I'll be Gus, the loveable chimney sweep! Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster." Oh, btw, yes I'm still in my apartment watching Simpsons instead of at work. It's kind of nice. :)

My Car was Impounded

I don't have my car. I swear, lately I've been having more problems holding on to that thing. Yesterday, I went to work at 8 AM, parked at the health department, hunky dory. Then, I had class, and I forgot to take my car over to school with me. I just walked over to the school. Well, after class I had to go to Richard's office and work on binders for this retreat that we're leaving for this afternoon. We were in his office til 7 pm...then we had to go to Wal-Mart to get snacks and some paper for the binders. When we finished with that, we were starving, so we went to eat at Chili's. Then another of our friends met us over there cause he'd just gotten out of class. Long story short, we were at Chili's til about 10:15 PM. So then Richard drives me to the health department to pick up my car, and the lot where it's parked is chained up and padlocked. I can see my car, but I can't get it out of there. So, here I am this morning. I have to be at work in about 50 minutes. But I dont have a car. I figure I'll wait til the last minute and then start calling people to see if they can really quickly wake up long enough to drive me and then go back to bed. It'll be hard to get Rupal out of bed, but she'll be my first try...I've driven her to work before in a pinch. I'll let you know how it all turns out later...ciao!

Could it be a new record?

It is 9:26 and I am climbing into bed. I'm sorry I haven't been more creative in my posting as of late. I have been, and continue to be, oh so tired. G'night.

It's 2:52 AM I must be thirsty

This is the second time I've awakened tonight. Maybe it's due to the fact that I was in bed asleep at 10:15 PM. I was so tired! But then, I woke up at 12:45 AM, starving and ever so thirsty although I'd eaten supper at 8:30. So, I polished off a calzone I had left over from Petrucelli's, drank a lot of water, and went back to bed. 2 hours later, I wake up again, parched. I was so very hot and thirsty. So I just turned off the heat and drank an entire bottle of water. I'm guessing my next move will be to wake up in another 2 hours because I will have wet the bed with how much water I've had. Only way to find out is to head back to bed. Sayonara!

How to Make Me Fall in Love with you All Over Again (As if I'd ever fallen out of it)

Tell me that you dreamt about me. While you're on another continent. And on vacation. And haven't seen me in months.

:(

Sometimes stuff is really hard. I can do anything academically, or organizationally but give me something emotional to deal with, and I'm totally messed up. I never know how to handle things, so I just leave them alone. But then they fester and come back up, which many times is a good thing because I shouldn't have left them alone in the first place. But when they come back, it seems like it may have been easier to deal with it in the first place. It's too bad that I'm such an emotional "insert Bridget Jones' Diary word here." Some of you will know what that was supposed to be. I sometimes wonder if I have a certain GI disease exacerbated by stress, because when stuff like this happens- always emotional mind you, I can stress out for days on school and work and feel fine- my stomach ties in knots and I just want to puke for hours. (Attractive, huh?) Well, I just wanted to vent but now I'm going to lie in my bed and feel bad because that's what emotional "Bridget again" do. Laters.

Work Me Like Not.

I have to go to work. Right now. And I'm asleep. Uuugghhh. That's okay though because Samantha needs to pay rent. I'm sure I'll be able to be at my other job at 8 AM all kinds of bright-eyed and bushy tailed- especially since I'm going out on this case at 12:15 AM. Woohoo! Coffee in the morning...I can see it now. Well, better go change into some scrubs. Seacrest out!

Dr. T: Pearls of Wisdom

Example #1:
"The cells migrate using filopodia. What are filipodia? Break it down- podia, as in pods, because they're able to move."
Because we all know pods just wander all over the place (peas are the perfect example.) That's also why they named portable storage after them.

Example #2:
"A woman is born with all the eggs she'll ever have in her lifetime. You would think that a voluptuous 20-year old woman would have the most eggs, but you would be wrong. The babies are full of eggs."
Wow dude. Way to make biology creepy as hell.

**On a side note, I just want to give Dr. T some props for being able to once again squeeze into the same tightass pants that he's been wearing every day for the past 2 weeks. Way to be.

Please Note:

If you're going to send me an email telling me about how my grant project will never be completed on time and that I now have to give a presentation on my oh-so-flawed study to a group of over 100 students, please wait until the evening. Waking up to this news makes me want to crawl back into my bed and die. Just keep that in mind. Thanks.

XXX Thickburger

Hardee's has the most disgusting commercials on television. Not only will everything on their menu give you a heart attack, now the size of the burger isn't the only thing that will nauseate you.

And it was good

On the 6th day, God made the optical mouse with scroll-wheel. I have so missed you, little wheel of convenience. And the fact that you don't need your own little pad makes me love you even more. The fact that the highlight of my day was plugging in a new mouse means that I am a complete dork. And the fact that I am about to hit the sheets like a ton of bricks means that I am an old lady. So. Old. G'night young'ns.

I don't think this is what he meant

When Charles Dickens penned the line, "Life is full of meetings and partings...." I really don't think this is what he meant. My life is one giant meeting. If I'm not in a meeting, I'm supposed to be in one and have just forgotten the time or something. I have meetings every single day this week, and 3 meetings on Friday! What could these people possibly have to say that is this important?!? This is why my apartment is in a constant state of disarray, I do nothing but eat out, I have no money, and I'm exhausted all the time! Wow...and I totally forgot to pick up my Meatless Monday stuff. I left it all sitting out at school. God I hope no one steals it. I'll go by at 7:30 in the morning and pick it up. I refuse to go back to campus tonight...my luck someone would spot me in the hallway and want to meet over dinner. I think I'm going to go meet with some of the food I finally had the chance to buy yesterday...only in the guise of purchasing Meatless Monday fodder for today. If I can make it to the doorway without drowning in the sea of clothes all over my floor. (BTW, if you happen to be my sister Jessica reading this, there is no sea of clothing...only a floor so clean you could eat off of it. Yes...cleaaannnn.....)

Annnnnnnnnnndddddd......yup, it's gone.

I woke up this morning feeling incredibly productive. Today was going to be the day that I finally cleaned up my incredibly messy apartment, got some stuff ready for Meatless Monday tomorrow, went to church, all kinds of stuff. Yeah....I had that feeling....and then it was gone. I got up and went to church, and then I decided to see if Carolyn wanted to have lunch. I went out with a big group from school last night, and felt like rehashing a few things. So, we went to Jason's deli and had a fabulous meal....I think I had a 1/2 tuna salad sandwich, a cup of soup, some potato salad, and a side of tranquilizers. I was so stuffed, I had to waddle through the Fresh Market when we got done. Then I came home to get down to business and instead passed out on my couch for 3 hours. Apparently my sleep cycle is a bit shorter than everyone else's because I always wake up in 3 hours, not the traditional 4.

Either way, now I'm incredibly lethargic and I certainly don't feel like cleaning this apartment, going grocery shopping, or stuffing little treatbags for Meatless Monday. Damn you naptime!! You're stealing my life away. Honestly, naps are how my apartment got this way in the first place. Everytime I plan on cleaning, I end up napping. It's just so nice with my fleecy blanket and my nice long couch. All at once it's the best and worst part of living alone. Well, I'm going to try to do some stuff, if only so that I can quit stubbing my toes and being frightened by the population of spiders that seem to have taken up residence in the various warm, dark spots I've provided them. Laters!

Penguin Calls

Check this out for a laugh. Make sure you click "see intro" before you start clicking on numbers. # 7 is my favorite, but only because it's totally me. Laters!

I Don't Think I'm Dead

Sometimes it's hard to tell, but fear not gentle readers, I'm still here. This has been the most exhausting week in quite awhile. I've been coming home and climbing into bed at night. Tonight would be no exception, but I hate to leave people thinking I may be a pile of jello somewhere. I think another reason I haven't written is that I have no idea where to start. The week was bound to be crappy since this is the first week back to classes. Just getting back into the swing of things is always a bit tough. Planning a conference, running your own grant project, and being the leader of your school's student organization tend to compound the problem.

So, the big horrible news for the week involved my conference. (By the way, go and register to attend the conference!! Especially if you're from Alabama. It's going to be great!! $10 registration before February 1st includes the conference, breakfast, lunch, and a year-long membership to Physicians for Human Rights!) The keynote speaker for the conference, Dr. Paul Farmer, backed out. 2 months before the conference and our rock star speaker is gone. I had a major meltdown. Luckily my friend Carolyn called for some commiseration. She picked me up from my apartment and took me out for some "Cheesecake Factory." There's nothing like calories to drown your sorrows....except maybe alcohol, but I have too much to do to start a drinking habit. Plus I'm already running on a limited supply of brain cells- better not push my luck. We have a replacement speaker who will be great, possibly even more fabulous. The only difference is that she's not as famous so our recruitment is going to be more challenging. Really the reason behind my breakdown was my fear of telling the planning committee about our loss. They were really stoked about Paul. But, they ended up taking it much better than I thought they would, which was awesome. They're a really great group. Really if you care about global AIDS, the speaker won't matter. Especially when you consider the credentials of the replacement.

This week really hasn't been that horrible, I've just been running myself ragged trying to get stuff done. I had a PHSA meeting right before the PHR meeting, and I had people missing both meetings. So not only did I have to lead both meetings, I then had to go home and email people with a recap of everything that happened. That wouldn't be such a big deal if Yahoo! mail wasn't such a bitch. I swear, it deleted the world's longest email that I'd taken about 30 minutes to compose. I almost threw my monitor out the window. I eventually got it sent though.

Now, I have to head to bed because I have to be at the HUC to go to a Habitat for Humanity workday at 7:30 AM. Woohoo! Oh, also, now you guys see why I don't write when I get stressed out. There was nothing remotely funny in this whole post. I don't want to bring you guys down with me!!! I'll make it up to you soon though :)

I feel weird.

Either I caused nerve damage with my incredibly hot bath, or the "Aveeno Relaxing Bath" is made of a fine powder of muscle relaxers. I feel weak- like I've been doing pushups and running laps while wearing a hula skirt made of bricks. I can't wait to fall asleep. The irreplicable bliss of unconciousness....enfold me. G'night all.

Oops

Yeah...when someone calls you and tells you a bunch of stuff that stresses you out, and then you get off the phone with them to call someone else to bitch about the person who just called you, don't call the original person back. I just called the first person back and bitched him out about himself. Bad thing. Really bad thing. Oh well though...this calls for bubble bath.

Dr. T- Take 2

So, I have a class with the same teacher that I had 2 years ago. It is like having an LSD flashback...and not in a good way. What follows is a transcription of my notes from today's class. Enjoy!

OMG, he's wearing the same pants he was wearing 2 years ago. I can't believe he can still get into them. They are just as tight as they were then. They're so tight I can actually see his wallet...with some binoculars I bet I could make out the raised impression of his credit card numbers through his wallet and pants. Please stop telling us where your office is. If you wanted us to know this badly, you should have drawn a map. Shockingly enough, we are literate. Sssshhhh!! Stop!! Why do we need to know the publisher of the textbook? Especially when it's written right here on the syllabus? Yes, we know you think repetition is an important part of learning because you repeat every single thing you say at least three times. Aww...that's sad that you're upset with people ditching your class. OH my God if you keep talking about the friggin' book I'm going to leave right now!! Make it stop...please. He's not going to stop talking is he? Nope....time number three on why the book is important. Good lord, we know you still have the book and are so glad that you paid 85 dollars for it, but did you ever stop to think that you are a teacher in this subject and the fact that you, who have spent 7 years on the topic and are using it for a class, still only refer back to it occasionally means that we, students who would rather forget we ever had this class, will NEVER refer back to it? I need a laptop. That dude next to me reading cnn.com is a genius. It is friggin' cold in here. Wow. He thinks his class isn't boring. That is so sad. I wish my headphones were invisible. Damn you, obvious white iPod headphones! No, we don't have any questions, you just spent 45 minutes reading us a 2 page syllabus!! Finally, the lecture, THANK GOD!!

Aren't you glad you weren't there?

An Open Letter to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Joel Schumacher, and anyone else involved with the movie release of "The Phantom of the Opera"

Dear Mr. Webber, Mr. Schumacher, and everybody else:

Why? Why would you destroy a classical theatrical piece in such a manner? Especially you Mr. Webber. You have seen your brilliant musical performed countless times by limitless amounts of talent. Why, when your masterpiece is to be released to the masses, would you be anything but tireless in your efforts to make it the most brilliant performance of this piece to date? Your first mistake was in hiring your casting director. I do not know, nor do I care to know, who you chose to cast this film, because if I knew who it was, I'd have to find them and place a flaming bag of dog crap on their doorstop. Or, I could just take a reel of this film, and set it ablaze on the stoop...I'd say it would register the same response.

The "stars" of this film, and I say that with little quotation marks so that you realize that there was no bright moment in this film aside from the rolling of the credits, were the most wretched singers I've heard in my life. The Phantom spent more time yelling than he did working his upper register, and the female lead barely squeaked half of her notes out...and I do mean squeak because you could literally hear the opening in her throat narrowing and you had to pray that the note would escape before it was too late.

I will admit that I did have an enjoyable time at this film. I laughed more during your film than I did at "Meet the Fokkers." However, I'd have to assume that wasn't the goal of the film. The Phantom's antics with ropes and his cape kept me rolling in my seat. If he did one more dramatic swoop with his cape, I'd have to go buy one for myself. Too bad you're not selling those things. Also, you should really release those waterproof candles to the general public...I'm sure they'd come in handy for something. I'm sure the Phantom is also very excited about spearheading the new trend of personal soundtracks. I know I'm working on mine right now...who doesn't need to have their entrance into a room announced by a few notes? Pair that with a cape and man, you're the height of fashion.

In closing, Mr. Webber, Mr. Schumacher, and everyone else involved with the worst movie ever brought to theatres, I'd like to say, stop. Please. Just stop. The musical film business is really not for you. Try sticking to something that will not involve your ability to hear. Maybe try something that will let you wear a cape. Majorette? Zorro? In any event, good luck to you all.

Sincerely,
Samantha

19 More Weeks

It will be okay...I only have to keep doing this internship for 19 more weeks. God I hate this job. I am so friggin' sleepy, and I have to go sit in my cubicle for 4 hours and put up with crap. Ugh. Damn you internship advisor. Daaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Yooooooooooooooouuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!